Page 86 of Fling

‘No, Mam, it’s perfect,’ she said.

‘Your old friend Tom O’Malley does be asking for you non-stop by the way,’ Shannon said, as she waited for the kettle to boil.

‘Aw, how is he? Do you be talking to him much?’ Tara asked, her spirits momentarily lifted.

‘He was here with me today. I had to give him the cure of the sprain,’ Shannon said.

‘Oh, is he OK?’ Tara asked.

‘Oh God yeah. Just a sprain in his groin. I dipped a piece of string in butter and I knotted it into a circle for him to wear. Sure wasn’t the sprain gone in a matter of minutes,’ Shannon said, smiling.

Tara smiled back. It was exactly the kind of cure Colin would ridicule, even though Shannon had once removed a wart from his knee just by giving him a penny. The kettle finally boiled and Shannon began making a pot for the two of them to share. She let it sit and finally filled Tara’s favourite mug.

‘My little mug,’ Tara said, remembering how much she used to love it. She took a sip of her tea and it felt like a tonic. There was just something about the way mothers made tea.

‘Oh God, I really needed this, Mam. I mostly drink coffee when I’m in Dublin,’ she said.

‘Well, you were a fair tea-aholic when you lived here. You used to come down from your room every evening holding six or seven mugs for the wash,’ Shannon joked.

‘The Irish walk of shame, as you called it,’ Tara laughed back. Her laughter quickly faded, however.

‘It’s alright, pet, let it out,’ Shannon said, touching her hand.

Tara took a deep breath. Why did she feel ashamed for being cheated on? Why was she struggling to get the words out? But she knew the answer on a subconscious level. It was because, in a way, she couldn’t really judge Colin. She had no right to throw the first stone. She too had been planning to have an affair. Perhaps Colin’s betrayal had forced her to hold a mirror up to herself.

But then again, Tara was merely going to meet a man for a drink. Colin had gone to a hotel room to have sex. Yes, they both had guilty minds, but he had committed the guilty act. He had done the deed. Her actions, however scandalous they may have been, seemed a lot more innocent that Colin’s. She was wounded by what he had done. And she needed her mother to heal her.

‘Colin cheated on me,’ she finally said.

‘WHAT?’ Shannon snapped. ‘You’re joking. There’s no way, Tara.’

‘I saw him, Mam. He lied to me about working late but I saw him going into a hotel room. I don’t know who the woman is, but God help that trollop if I ever find out her name,’ Tara said.

‘Between two stools a man falls to the ground. But I just can’t imagine Colin with another woman, Tara. You two have always been so in love. I know you fight like cats in a bag but sure the best relationships are often like that,’ Shannon said.

‘We’ve been drifting apart since we started IVF. It just sucked all the life out of us,’ Tara admitted.

‘Didn’t I tell ya not to be going down the immaculate conception route? I always said you’d have a child when the time is right,’ Shannon said.

‘Mam, I’m thirty-seven years old,’ Tara sighed. ‘The odds are against me.’

‘Oh would ya give up with that kind of talk! I had you at thirty-eight and you turned out fine, didn’t ya? What’s meant to be, will be,’ Shannon said.

‘You always told me there’s a reason for everything. But what reason is there for Colin cheating on me with another woman? Where’s my silver lining?’ she asked desperately.

‘Tara, the tricky part about life is that we have to live it forwards. But it can only be understood backwards. Maybe Colin has met someone new because you’re supposed to meet someone new,’ Shannon said.

‘Jack,’ Tara whispered to herself.

‘Who?’ Shannon asked.

Tara didn’t know where to begin. She was exhausted after the day she had put in. ‘Mam, I have a lot to tell you but I feel like I’m about to collapse. I have a knot in my stomach after everything that’s happened. Can I tell you the rest of the story in the morning?’ Tara asked.

‘Of course, pet. You tumble into bed and in the morning, I’ll have breakfast ready for you,’ Shannon said.

‘Thanks, Mam.’ Tara smiled.

Tara headed down the hall and opened the door to her old bedroom. It was exactly how she had left it, albeit a lot dustier. She looked at the walls covered in vintage posters of ABBA and tried to smile through the pain she was feeling.

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