Page 43 of Cover Up

Something worth the risk.

“I don’t…” He trailed off. He had no idea what to say.

Luckily, Felix took pity on him. “We don’t need to talk about this now, okay? We don’t need to figure anything out here. I wasn’t asking for that. I just needed to know it wasn’t me making you miserable.”

Dei wanted to kiss him. He wanted to cradle Felix’s face against his rough palm, push him up against the wall, and devour him until neither of them had the strength to keep standing. “I do want to talk when this is over,” he finally confessed.

Felix ducked his head, and Dei couldn’t read his expression or his tone when he said, “Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.”

Blowing out a puff of air, Dei tapped his hand on the table before pushing up to his feet. He’d lost his appetite, and Felix didn’t seem all that hungry either. “I’m gonna clean up this mess. Then we can go on that walk, if you’re up for it.”

“I might just hang here,” Felix said very quietly. He wasn’t meeting Dei’s gaze. “But you can go if you want to.”

Dei didn’t. He offered Felix a small smile, then gathered up the plates, balancing them on his hand, before making his way inside and wondering if he’d just royally fucked everything up.

* * *

They didn’t say much to each other for the rest of the evening. Felix stayed outside until the sun was down, and then he lay on the thin, uncomfortable couch with one arm flung over his eyes. Dei had half a mind to leave him there since he looked peaceful, but he couldn’t condemn him to a raging backache the next day.

He took his time with his evening routine, however, bracing himself with his hand against the wall as the too-light water pressure flowed down his back. He scrubbed the airport smell off his skin, then slipped back into his prosthetic in spite of the pain shooting along his hip. What he wanted was to strip down to nothing and slide under cool sheets, but things were already weird enough with Felix.

Dei was done fooling himself. He knew when they got back home, he was going to ask Felix on a date. Hell, if it wouldn’t make him a freak, he’d ask Felix to goddamn marry him, but he was actively trying not to scare the man off.

He’d fallen.

He was head over heels and beyond hope, and all he could do was pray to whatever god was willing to listen to him that Felix would feel the same way when they got home.

The thought buoyed him a little as he put on a pair of light sleep pants and a T-shirt, then made his way back into the living room. Felix had gotten up, and Dei felt a small rush of panic until he saw movement out the kitchen window. He felt a little unsteady after the long day, but he managed to get out back without falling on his face, and he found Felix sitting on the top step of the patio.

“You want the shower?”

“I used the other one,” Felix said. Dei took notice of his wet hair and the way it clung to his head. His fingers itched to reach out and touch it.

“Sorry I took a hundred years.”

Felix leaned his head back and rolled his eyes. “Dude. Stop apologizing for everything. It was a long day, and we’re both beat.”

Dei couldn’t argue with that. He took a step closer, then extended his hand. “Come on, sugar. We both need to knock the fuck out.”

Felix only hesitated for a second, but he eventually took Dei’s hand and heaved himself up. They let go after a few lingering seconds, and Dei wondered if his body was going to let him keep to himself all night. The need to touch this man was almost overwhelming, and he knew he was going to crack sooner rather than later.

He felt a little trembly as they got to the room, and he deliberately didn’t look over as Felix started to rummage around his suitcase. Instead, he sat on the edge of the bed and took his leg off, then—after some hesitation—peeled his shirt away and lay down with the overstarched sheets rough against his back.

He missed home suddenly. He missed the thick humidity of the evening air and his perfectly broken-in bed. He missed the sounds of the islands at night and the smells on the breeze. At home, at least he knew up from down.

He turned his head when he heard Felix shuffling closer and saw him approaching, his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I won’t bite, but I do prefer the edge if it’s all the same to you. I don’t do so well tryn’a roll out of bed without two of my limbs.”

Felix let out a tiny laugh, which was exactly what Dei had been going for. “I guess I can compromise on that one thing.” He knee-walked over the blankets until he was able to slip under them, and there was a damn ocean of space between their bodies, which Dei hated.

He rolled onto his side, his stump pressing uncomfortably against the pillow, but it was worth it for the view of Felix’s sleepy face. Silence settled between them, and Dei rolled over with a hard grunt as he fumbled for the bedside lamp, flicking it off when he found the button.

Darkness wrapped around them as Dei turned back, and he waited for his eye to adjust so he could make out Felix’s profile. He was still on his back, and though Dei’s vision wasn’t great, he could still make out how tense he was.

“Talk to me,” he whispered.

Felix let out a long, slow breath. “Tomorrow’s going to suck in so many ways. I’m stressed-out that I’m going to have a seizure and give my mom a reason to try and keep me.”

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