Page 76 of Cover Up

“Want me to carry you inside?”

Felix snorted and rolled his eyes. “No. But another kiss would be nice.”

“I can do that.” Dei turned and cupped Felix’s cheek, drawing him in for a soft press of lips. It held none of the desperation of before. It was just quiet comfort that Felix hadn’t realized he needed until right then. “I love you. I hope it’s okay for me to say that now.”

Felix nodded, kissing Dei again. “Please don’t stop telling me.”

“I love you,” Dei whispered again.

For a moment, Felix felt like he was walking through a dream, and he took a moment to collect himself before pulling away. They locked gazes for a moment, and then he got out of the truck and heard Dei follow as he walked around the back to meet him at the door.

His place felt oddly strange since he’d been away for so long, but the smell inside was a warm blanket of familiarity, just like the hand that pressed to the small of his back. Dei crowded up against him and kissed the side of his neck. “Meet me in the bedroom, darlin’. I just need to put a few things away.”

Felix nodded, basking in the touch until Dei let him go, and then he headed to the bedroom and flicked on the light. It looked barely touched, and the bed was made, which had Felix wondering if Dei had slept in there at all since he’d been back. He hadn’t looked at the couch, but he had a feeling he’d find blankets and pillows there.

Dei had wanted his own space, but it still broke Felix’s heart to know he’d been going through his mom’s declining health all on his own. He didn’t think Sofia had changed her mind about coming back to the Keys, which meant every decision had been resting on Dei’s shoulders.

Felix sighed, kicking off his shoes and peeling away his clothes until he was left in his boxers and T-shirt. He pulled the covers back, and just as he was climbing onto the bed, he heard Dei’s soft groan behind him.

Glancing over his shoulder, he grinned. “See something you like?”

“Oh, sweet thing, don’t even get me started tonight.”

That wasn’t the deterrent Dei wanted it to be, but Felix knew they needed a moment to talk before they went any further. He pressed his lips together and shuffled toward the wall, turning to watch Dei undress.

He moved like an interpretive dance, the way he peeled himself out of each layer. Felix knew that no matter how much he wanted Dei—how wild he was about every inch of him—he was still insecure. And Felix understood that feeling more than he wished he had to.

“Gotta stop hittin’ me with them bedroom eyes, baby,” Dei rumbled as he walked toward the bed and sat.

Felix shifted over and wrapped around him, pressing his chest against Dei’s back as he took off his leg and set it to the side. He felt Dei’s sigh of relief more than he heard it, his broad shoulders rising and falling and moving Felix with him.

Unable to help himself, Felix pressed a line of kisses along the back of Dei’s shoulders. “I thought I lost you,” he admitted. It was easier to speak when he wasn’t looking at Dei’s face.

“I know. I’m so damn sorry.”

Felix shook his head and finally forced himself to let go so Dei could slide up on the bed and stretch his leg out. Felix could see the tension in his muscles. His arm stump hung there the way it always did since it had little motion, but the corded ropes along his thigh were in knots, like a dozen charley horses.

Felix shifted around until he could pull Dei’s stump into his lap, and he began to carefully knead along his skin.

“Oh, darlin’,” Dei groaned, head tipped back against the headboard, eyes shut. “You don’t need to do this.”

“Can I, though? I’ll stop if you want, but it’s obvious you’re in pain.”

Dei opened his sighted eye. “Only if you want.”

“I do. I feel like I need to have my hands on you right now,” Felix confessed. He wanted tangible proof that this was real. That it hadn’t all ended at the sight of a single text. He hated how weak his emotions were now—how out of control he felt. And he hated that he didn’t know if it would ever get better.

“My body’s yours,” Dei said very quietly.

They fell into silence, punctuated only by an occasional grunt as Felix found a tender spot, but soon enough, Dei was relaxed, and Felix’s hands were tired. He shook them out, then curled into Dei’s side, grinning when his lover picked his arm up by the wrist and pressed a kiss to each fingertip.

“How’d I get so lucky?” Dei asked.

Felix wanted to argue about luck, but that felt unfair. “So,” he said instead, “you wanted to talk to me about something?”

Dei let out a long, deep sigh and shrugged. He continued to play with Felix’s fingers as his brow furrowed in thought. “I know I said I love you quicker than you were ready for…”

“No,” Felix interrupted. He didn’t want Dei to go a single moment more without knowing. He sat up and waited for their gazes to connect. “I’m having a hard time with those words. I don’t know why. I might just be afraid, but I’m…it’s.” He stopped and licked his lips. “It’s the same for me.”

---