Page 42 of Cover Up

“You think you won’t find that?”

Felix looked him dead in the eye, almost like a challenge, and Dei almost rose to it.

Almost.

When Felix said nothing, Dei breathed out a sigh and shrugged. “Soup’s on. Or…kebabs. Whatever.”

Felix cleared his throat, then swung his legs over the side of the side of the lounger and stood. “Cool. Table?”

In the end, Dei directed them both to the little bistro table covered by an umbrella. He stretched his legs out, taking as much pressure off his stump as he could, and he listened to Felix picking at his food since he was sitting on his blind side.

It was almost like a reprieve, not being able to see him, since Dei was worked up and afraid that lines were going to be crossed before he was ready.

“Did I say something wrong?” Felix asked after a long moment.

Dei turned his head, and his heart beat a little harder when Felix filled his line of sight. “What makes you think that?”

“Because you haven’t said a word since we sat down. And I know my head’s a little wrecked, so I’m not the best at interpreting social situations, but I feel like I know you.” Felix bowed his head toward his plate, and his ears went a little pink. “Maybe I’m overthinking it.”

Dei felt like a complete asshole. He was working on his own shit, but he hadn’t taken into consideration how much harder things were for Felix. And that wasn’t taking into account the fact that they were here for his grandmother’s funeral, seeing his shitty-as-fuck family for the first time in a long time.

“Christ, I’m so sorry.”

Felix’s gaze snapped up. “What?”

“I am being weird.” Dei set his kebab down and swiped his fingers over his shorts. It was time for honesty. If Felix was on the same page, then they could figure it out from there. If Felix wasn’t, then Dei would take time to get over him. “I really like you.”

“Yeah. I like you too,” Felix started but went quiet when Dei held up his hand.

“Romantically. Sexually. Just to be clear.”

Felix snorted a laugh and rolled his eyes, leaning his elbow on the table so he could prop his chin on his hand. “I know. You’re not subtle. And we have talked about this a little.”

Dei grimaced. “Yeah. But I really like you, Felix. I’m falling so hard, and it’s a little terrifying because I don’t know if I’m ready. And I don’t want to string you along.”

Felix looked a little upset, his gaze darting away from Dei. “People seem to think that I can’t handle uncomfortable situations. I mean, yeah, I guess regulating my emotions can be harder for me, but I’m not a fucking child.”

“I’m not saying you are,” Dei said in a rush.

Felix gave him a withering look. “Would you be having this conversation with someone else?”

“Yes,” Dei told him firmly. “I’ve never been in this position, but I like to think if I’d fallen for anyone—no matter who they were—I’d be taking care with their heart.”

Felix let out a slow breath, his eyes a little wide and stunned. “Oh.”

Realization hit Dei, and he wanted to simultaneously put his fist through the wall to punish a world that had allowed Felix to go so unloved and also gather him close and never let him go. “You deserve to be loved, Felix. Without reservations or fear.”

Felix licked his lips. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Dei laughed softly. “Maybe tell me how you feel. I’ve been mostly running on assumptions.”

Felix sat back with a heavy thud. “Have I seriously never—god. I guess I am terrible at this.”

“You’re not—”

“I think I’m halfway in love with you.” No other words had ever robbed Dei of his voice as quickly as those ones had. His throat felt like it was closing up, and he couldn’t unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. Felix met his gaze, then shrugged. “It’s new for me. This feeling is…I didn’t know it could be like this. I don’t want to push you, so I think that’s why I’ve been keeping it to myself.”

Dei’s breath left him all in a rush. He knew, of course. Logically, he was well aware that Felix was into him. He just hadn’t been able to convince himself that it was something truly worth fighting for.

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