Page 48 of The Captive Missing

“Well… I don’t have feelings for you,” Charlie snapped.

The last sentence fell heavily. Mandy sat stunned for several seconds, her chest heaving as it filled with embarrassment and hurt. Suddenly she pushed back to standing, her cheeks flushed pink, and stormed away.

Murmurs followed her rushing figure out the door and spread amongst the captives. Amber set down her fork and folded her hands demurely in her lap, eyes downcast. Charlie pressed the heels of both hands into his closed eyes and leaned forward over the table.

Val overflowed with guilt. They thought because she had testified against Sharon, and worked with the FBI on that investigation, that she was some type of operative. They didn’t understand how right Mandy actually was. Val only did what Jason told her to do, nothing more. She owed it to all of them to clear things up.

“She’s right, though,” Val began. “I am what she says.”

“Don’t.” Charlie lifted his head, eyes blazing. “Just don’t.”

With that, he too got up and walked away.

Chapter 16

The following day Room 115 was right back on Val’s schedule. Things with Charlie were tense, Mandy pretended like she didn’t exist and Amber faked her way through a solitary breakfast with Val.

By the time she had showered and returned to Prep, Val’s heart had filled with a lonely deadness. All night long she had battled thoughts of her son and Jason. She could hear their voices in her dreams and woke bitter at the realization of where she was. More than once she considered starting back on the medication.

Now, sitting once more on the edge of the solitary black stool in Room 115, Val banished all feelings from her mind. As Alicia ran a brush through her hair, she focused on nothing and worked hard to keep it that way. By the time her makeup was complete, Shane’s taunting banter had little to no effect.

Today Val was dressed in a tight blue skirt and billowing white peasant top that you could practically see through. It had been the outfit she was wearing when the press first discovered her with Jason. She had worn it while he drug her through a bustling LA airport on their way back to Texas. She could almost feel the warmth of his palm as it wrapped around hers. It seemed a lifetime ago.

“There are thirty-four requests for the blue skirt,” Shane began. “I’ve tailored this message a little differently so you’ll need to memorize a few new lines.”

“Yes, Sir,” Val intoned, furrowing her brow in concentration.

Eyes darting across the script, Val saw where he was going with this one. She would need to be a bit more submissive, less seductress and more youthful nervousness. In the photos of her dodging cameras at the airport, she had looked surprised.

Shane showed her the one he wanted her most to emulate. You could see Jason’s back as he pulled her along by the hand. She had on large sunglasses, but had just glanced over her shoulder as they pushed through the airport doors. Her mouth hung ever so slightly in a tiny “o” shape. Her hair was wild and makeup mussed.

For the rest of the day, Shane drilled her. It took a lot longer for her to strike just the right pose and use the correct tone of voice. At times Val forgot the lines completely, or repeated the wrong name from the video just before.

Surprisingly though, this time Shane was patient. He didn’t yell or berate her. Instead, he took his time and coaxed. He encouraged her, giving her breaks and having lunch brought in. Whatever had prompted his change in treatment only served to make Val more wary. He could change in an instant. She had seen it before.

There were more names this time and the script was longer. Dinner came and went without the offer of food or a break. Alicia sat in the corner, stomach rumbling, but wisely said nothing. Even Shane began to look frazzled, but was insistent on completing the entire list. He didn’t want to make her up in the same outfit again for only a handful of men.

By the time she was finished, her limbs felt weak and her face hurt from all the smiling. She changed back into her uniform and left the room, beeping her way back to her bed in dazed silence.

Hours of pretending to be captive Val for the videos had taken their toll. Her body was heavy with exhaustion and her overwrought mind had gone numb. For the first time since she had been reacquired by Cambric, she dropped easily into a sound sleep. No dreams came to plague her, only much welcome blackness.

* * *

When she woke, she repeated the same process. Then again, and then again. She repeated it until there were no names left. Until all of the outfits had been worn and hundreds of promises had been made. She repeated it until the words became a part of her, filling her brain, overlaying the last four years of her life.

For what woman could march steadily towards the end that awaited her and keep hold of herself? What woman could face the inevitability of submission that played along the horizon, while still calling herself a wife and a mother?

It was just as Amber had told her before. You have to let go of the free life that you experienced if you’re going to survive. You have to shove it from your mind, like it never happened, like it was a distant fantasy that you didn’t have any right to experience. So that is just what Val did.

* * *

Then there came a morning when her schedule changed. The flat screen attached to her desk no longer flashed the booking in Room 115. Val blinked once, then rubbed at her eyes in an effort to confirm what she saw was true. She had an eight-thirty appointment in Training 106, then a gym workout scheduled for two-thirty in the afternoon.

Straightening, Val sighed audibly. Things were moving right along.

A knock on her door had her moving to open it. The meds guard stood there, offering her a little white pill and a paper cup filled with water. Val hesitated for the briefest of moments before taking what he offered and swallowing it down. She no longer felt upset over Bee’s long ago drug habit. If anything, she understood it more perfectly. With any luck, the fog would settle in soon enough.

Passing Mandy on her way to the shower, Val felt the hatred that resonated in the young woman’s eyes. But tilting her head to one side, she realized she no longer cared.

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