Page 68 of Leave Me Broken

Does it? I think it over for a few minutes. “No. In fact it makes it worse because that means you couldn’t last, meaning her pussy was good.”

“I was sixteen, Payson. Her pussy could have been rubbish and I wouldn’t have known.” He rolls us to the side, flips me so he is spooning me. “The fact I couldn’t last with you is much more impressive.”

Hmm . . . I suppose that is correct, yes. I smile to myself and back up against his hard body. “You’re too charming.”

Ash presses himself tightly behind me and wraps an arm around my stomach, laying his hand over it, he gently runs a thumb over my scar. A peaceful silence settles over the room.

Until I can’t stand it being quiet because like Luca said, “I’m chatty.” Might as well prove that to be true. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“I know we’re dating now but . . . what about the public stuff? We can’t kiss, hold hands, or even touch. Aren’t you going to get tired of having to hide all the time?” I have no experience with relationships so not holding hands in public isn’t a huge deal for me. By the sounds of it, Ash has lots of experience.

He rolls me onto my back and cups my face with one hand. The room is just barely lit by an outside light so I can only see the outline of his features.

“I can’t kiss you when we’re out—” He leans down and brushes his lips over mine and down my chin, until he reaches my collarbone. “But I’ll bite you in private.” His tongue is hot, licking over my love bite from earlier. “I can’t hold your hand in public—” His fingers slip down my stomach into my folds, he curls them until two fingers are seated tightly inside me. “But I’ll hold your pussy when we’re alone.”

I push him onto his back. Slipping his fingers from my body to straddle him.

“I can’t show the world how much you mean to me, but you will never go a day wondering my feelings for you.

“I’ll fuck you so brilliantly you’ll never forget how much I love you. Because I do, babygirl. Through all the obstacles we have—or will face during our time together—I promise to never stop loving you, Payson Ray Murphy.”

My heart thunders, he must feel it against his chest, he doesn’t acknowledge if he does. I can hardly see his eyes but I know what they look like, and I stare into the beautiful eyes of my coach, boyfriend, and man promising me his future. “That’s a big promise, Ashley.”

“I’ve never meant anything more, babygirl. It’s you and me.”

Oddly enough . . . I believe him. I have no reason to believe him. So many people, including him, have shown me how easy it is to abandon me. I should build my walls higher, push him away and go back to looking out for myself before I get hurt. But I’m tired of being alone. For years I prayed for Ash Pearson and now he’s here, like I always wanted. Anytime I get with him is better than no time.

“Always and forever.”

He pokes my nose and rolls us back to our sides and we curl up for the night, not knowing what the future holds for us.

“Do not forget it.”

Never.

Clay is already in his seat when I get to calculus. I fall into my seat behind him. The teacher announces our work for today and Clay turns his seat around like always.

“How are you today, Payson?”

“Actually, Clay, I’m doing really well. How are you?”

He ponders my question, then offers a firm nod. “I am fine.”

“What are you doing now that cross country is over?”

Clay tells me about the camera he found at the resale shop in town. Apparently it’s a collectors camera and he got it for the cheap price of two hundred and fifty dollars. To someone like Clay, I suppose that is cheap, not so much to me but I don’t focus on the price and just enjoy seeing how excited he is about it. Most people wouldn’t recognize he’s excited, but his eyes expand more than normal, his hands move more rapidly with his words and his body relaxes, which doesn’t happen often.

“That’s super cool. What are you going to photograph?”

“I am not sure yet, Payson. Whatever catches my eye, I suppose.”

I can’t fathom what might catch Clay’s eye, but I know him and when he puts his mind to something, he puts in 150 percent.

I take my seat next to Janelle at lunch, but she doesn’t pull her eyes from wherever she is looking across the room. Upon some investigation, I come up empty-handed. All I see is Parker and some freshman girls hanging around him. Even with his age, he’s still a sophomore so to see him with freshman girls is not stare worthy, at least to me.

“Earth to Janelle.” She blinks when I wave my hand in front of her face.

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