Page 100 of Heal For Me

His eyes flick up to me and I nod. Answering his unasked questions. Payson was right after all, I would go to say we’re friends, but we’re not at each other throats anymore. Usually.

He looks to the baby in my arms and his harsh face softens even more. “And the little, er, big guy. You sure you’re okay, kid?” He flicks a worried look to her as if wonder how this chunky baby came out of such a petite woman. Payson’s not changed in looks much since we met. Stretch marks across her stomach and ass from the pregnancies, and her tits are even bigger and so fucking sexy when I’m pounding into her. But other than a few hints where small wrinkles will rest in her future, she’s still the same seventeen-year-old that jail-baited me into loving her.

Payson grins at me and our son. “Yeah, I’m good. Isn’t he beautiful?”

“He is.” I walk over and pass him to his uncle. “Here you go Great Uncle, Jet.” He hates it when I call him great uncle.

He huffs but grabs the baby and tucks him into the crook of his arm. “So, what’s the little guys name?”

Payson smiles at me and I grab hold of her hand. “It’s Jet,” she tells him Excitement bubbling on the inside.

It takes a minute for him to react but eventually his sharp eyes snap to her, then me. He looks between us for a moment and each passing glance his eyebrows sink. And when he looks down to the sleeping baby, I swear I see a single tear fall from his nose. I bite back any comment I might have and give this one to him. I’d cry too.

Payson’s eyes fill with tears and she grabs ahold of his hand. “Just like his uncle.”

The moment is interrupted by the loud voice of our eldest, and his brother. I wasn’t sure how Parker would deal with me having more kids, but he loves his little brothers more I could have ever asked. He’s around as much as he can be with his football career taking off. Moving to England was the bet choice for him and me. His career kicked off almost immediately, and our relationship became even stronger than I thought possible.

Parker stops just inside, carrying Murphy upside down. “Anyone order a four-year-old?”

“Ooo! Me! I did!” Payson cheers making our son burst with laughter.

I grab Murphy from him and blow a raspberry onto his tummy before sitting on the bed next to Payson so she can squeeze him.

Parker slaps my shoulder and bends to kiss Payson’s cheek. “Congratulazioni, Mamma and Papa.”

“Grazie,” she beams, so proud of her ability to speak Italian now. She’s been working so hard to learn for Parker. “Wait,” She narrows her eyes at him. “Are you calling me mom or a mom?”

I snort to myself and she scowls at me. Parker and Payson’s relationship is odd, to say the least with their only being a year difference in age, and they argue more like brother and sister than anything, but I know when push comes to shove, they got each other’s back. Payson is just about his biggest fan too, next to our sons and me of course. When we can’t make it to a game, which isn’t very often but with her being pregnant we missed a few this season, she made sure to put it on the TV and to call him after with any comments on his playing. She might be American, but she loves English football. When she’s not pregnant, and Parker is home for a visit I’ll often look outside and catch them doing some kind of pepper drill where she will bump, set, and spike to him while he kicks to her. Says even next to Volleyball it’s the most entertaining sport, and I thought I couldn’t love her anymore.

We’re currently in the middle of adding an extension onto our gym—a football extension. I was even able to convince Luca to come and coach. After we left Bayshore, he stuck around a coached a few more years with Coach Maddox, but eventually he got antsy being in one place. Probably because he ran through all the single women, but I digress. Besides a few visits on both parts, we’ve hardly seen each other so it’ll be nice having him around.

“Guess you’ll never know.” He teases her.

“Parker,” I warn. “She just gave birth, give her a break.”

He rolls his eyes playfully and drops into the couch across the room. “A mum,” he says and she relaxes.

That was her one rule when we married. Parker is not allowed to call her mum. No one disagreed with that, but he likes to tease her about it anyway.

Everyone sticks around until I can tell it’s becoming a lot for Payson and I boot them out. Lovingly, of course.

After the door closes, she drops her head back and sighs a longing sound. “I don’t remember our boys being so energetic.”

I chuckle as I take my seat next to her on the bed. I pull her into my arms and she leans back against my chest. It’s not often we get time alone anymore. Our lives are so busy with the boys, and the gym, but I am able to convince her to drop the kids at my parents for a night, two if I’m lucky, so we can spend some one-on-one time together.

“They are always energetic, but usually you’re not recovering when they are.” I kiss her temple and she hums a happy sound.

Jet stirs, wanting to eat again, he’s so far living up to his size and is eating more than every two hours, but Payson takes it in stride, like she does everything and it never fails to amaze me. I pluck him from the bedside basket and gently pass him to her.

I shouldn’t get hard seeing her breast when she’s about to feed our son, but the moment I stop getting hard for Payson’s naked body is the moment I don’t want to live anymore.

She strokes his cheek as he feeds. “He’s perfect. All our boys are so perfect,” her voice shakes and I give her shoulders a squeeze. “I can’t believe how lucky we are, Ash. I know I say this a lot, and cry about it a lot, but I feel so lucky when I think about the life I could have had—or not had, and the one I do.” She hiccups. “I am just so lucky.”

I think about the same thing more often than I’ll admit. Payson thinks she is the lucky one, but she doesn’t realize how much she joy she brings to our family. How our boys immediately seek her out in a room, how they wake up and can’t wait to tell their mum about any dreams they had, or how my heart takes an extra beat anytime she looks at me.

Like she’s doing right now. I once went too long without seeing her big, beautiful eyes on me so I never take it for granted when her attention is on me. I lean down and press my lips ever so gently to hers.

“We are the lucky ones, babygirl.”

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