Page 23 of Heal For Me

Without looking up, Mum tells me, “No,” then adds, “You can head up to the hospital for a while. We will make sure everyone is good here.”

I squeeze the back of my neck as I think about what to do. On one hand, it’d be nice to see Payson on Thanksgiving, but on the other, this is Parker’s first. I don’t want to miss out on it.

“Go,” Dad says, laying a hand on my shoulder. “Just be back for dinner at three, okay?”

It’s half to nine; that’s six hours I could spend with my girl, even if I spend four, it’s better than none. I just need to figure out how to not make it obvious to her aunt that our relationship is more than coach and player.

Stopping off at the store, I pick up two set of flowers. One for Payson’s aunt, figuring it can’t hurt to butter her up, and the other for Payson. I try and get her a new bouquet daily because I’d like her to wake up to fresh ones whenever she decides to open her eyes.

Payson’s aunt seems as surprised to see me as I expected. Now standing in front of her with two sets of autumn flowers, I worry how obvious I’m making it.

She simply smiles, though.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Coach.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, ma’am.”

Payson definitely looks like her dad’s side of the family. Even if the only member of that side I’ve met so far is Jethro, it’s beyond obvious they are related. I’m not sure how no one noticed before now, but I digress. She does, however, share similarities with her mum’s side. Her mum had dark hair, but her Aunt Vicky’s hair is light brown. Their lengths are the same though—short.

She eyes the bouquets in my hands with narrowed, questioning eyes and I wonder—just for a moment, if she is going to call me out. But she doesn’t and her whole face brightens when I pass her one of the two, and I think whatever she was thinking is lost. “Oh, aren’t you the sweetest. Thank you.”

I replace Payson’s flowers before taking a seat across from Vicky.

“How has she been today?”

Vicky regards her niece, a beat of sadness passing before she forces a sad smile. “A few hand twitches here and there. I thought I heard her say something, but I’m pretty sure I imagined that.”

“What did you think you heard her say?”

“Ask. Like ask a question, but I don’t know. It doesn’t really make sense, but I didn’t mention it to the doctor.”

She’s right. Payson saying ask wouldn’t make sense. But Payson saying Ash would. Hope blooms low in my stomach; is it possible she’s been dreaming about me? How did she say it, happy, sad, confused, excited? These are all things I want to ask but know it would be too obvious.

The moment Vicky excuses herself to the restroom, I grab Payson’s hand and place a kiss on her knuckles before doing the same to her forehead, nose, and finally lips.

“I’m here, babygirl.”

I wait, and wait, but nothing happens. Even though I didn’t hear her say my name, knowing she did is enough to let me leave the hospital with new faith. She will wake up soon, I can feel it.

Payson

“It’s time, Ray-Ray.”

“But I’m not ready.”

Grandpa cups my cheek with rough hands, and I melt into him. “You have your whole life ahead of you.”

My lip wobbles, and I’m not able to hold back the overwhelming sadness flooding through my chest and body. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I know, but I’m always going to be here” He pokes my chest just over my heart. “When you see the sun or feel the wind, give a little hello, because that’s me visiting you.”

I don’t know how to live in a world without my grandpa, but if he wants me to try, it’s the least I can do.

9

Ash

I take a different path into the hospital this time. There’s no real reason why, but something told me I should go this way, so I did. I pass several rooms, some filled, some not.

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