Page 33 of Heal For Me

I stare into his stormy eyes, and my heart skips a beat. I hope he can feel how much I mean what I am saying. I know a lot of people would look at our relationship and the age, or the toxicity—because it’s there—but I hope at least a few could see how strongly we love and care for each other. It might not always be in the right way, but I wouldn’t take him any other way, and I wouldn’t change a thing about our story.

“One day, we are going to just be a boring married couple, but I’ll always get to remember these first moments when feelings were so fresh, so raw. Maybe you’ll never see what I do.” I wrap my arms back around his neck. “But I think that reminder is lovely.”

He cups my face, and stares into my eyes before settling on my lips. I lick them, anticipating him kissing me.

“I’ll never know what I did in this lifetime to deserve you.”

Then he kisses me, and it’s not the kind of kisses I’ve been getting lately. It’s the kind that steal your breath but you keep kissing because it’s just that good and you don’t care if you pass out. I sink my hands into his long hair and pull it away from his face.

He grips my hips and growls, low and deep. “Jailbird, if you don’t stop humping me, I’m going to fuck you on your uncle’s couch.”

Right now, that doesn’t sound like the worst thing to ever happen, but then I remember who my uncle is and the fact I’m almost positive he’s legit killed people. Despite the ache between my legs, I slow my movements. He pulls me back into a kiss, this one slower, less feverish but just as good.

I don’t know what state I will wake up in tomorrow, because like everyone else, I’m waiting for the drop. But in this moment, on this couch, with Ash holding onto me like he needs me to breathe, I know whatever comes up, I will be okay because it will always be me and him.

13

Payson

I’m drifting off to sleep in Ash’s arms when the doorbell rings. It’s never gone off before and I jump.

Ash grumbles. I’m guessing he was almost asleep too.

Knowing Uncle Jet is upstairs and I’m closest, I slip from the couch and head for the door. Not to my surprise, Ash follows while rubbing his eyes.

I throw open the door. “Oh, hey, Clay!”

I can feel the mood shift over my shoulder without even having to look at him.

“Payson. Good to see you awake.”

His eyes shift behind me to Ash, then back to me. His lips flatten and his eyes droop, like he’s bored. “I have your work.”

He holds out a stack of papers, and I grab them. “Thanks, Clay. Seriously, this is so helpful.”

“I put in some of my finished work for help.” Help is code for copy. Has been since freshman year.

“You are a saint, Clay Kjelberg.”

A hint of a smile flashes, but it’s gone just as quick. “I try. If you have any questions, you have my number.”

It took longer than expected, but Ash’s arm snakes around my waist, claiming what’s his. Clay doesn’t seem bothered by it, though. He simply blinks.

“Totally. Thanks, again.”

He steps back. “I live right up the road. If you are really confused, just call me, and I will come over.” If I wasn’t used to Ash’s harsh grip, his fingers on my hip would be causing serious pain. As if Clay notices Ash’s anger, the corner of his mouth tips mischievously. A look I’ve never seen from Clay. “Night or day, Payson.”

My mouth drops and his shoulders bounce as he heads for the G Wagon parked next to Ash’s truck. Did Clay Kjelberg just proposition me to get a rise out of my boyfriend—fiancé?

Ash slams the door and pins me against it, ravishing my neck, chest, jaw, and any place skin is showing.

“Ash.” I blow out a breath. “He was kidding.”

“I fucking hate that kid.”

I can’t help but laugh. It’s Clay we are talking about. Ash doesn’t seem to share my amusement, and his kisses turn into bites. I’m sure he’s leaving behind marks.

At least some things never change. I pray Ash is always that one thing.

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