Page 4 of Heal For Me

“Henry,” Mum scolds but it’s too late. Within three seconds, I’m on my feet with my little brother pinned against the hospital wall.

“That’s exactly what I expected.” Paul’s funeral was longer than most because so many people had nice things to say about him, but it still wasn’t long enough for him to leave. “What part of she is everything to me don’t you bloody understand? I trusted you to just sit here, and you couldn’t even do that.”

He struggles against my grip, but I’m bigger and he’s not really trying to get out. I can see the guilt written on his face. Henry has always been a loose cannon, so I don’t know why I thought something being important to me would matter to him at all.

“I would have done the same for you with—”

Henry’s chest rumbles with a growl. “Don’t bloody go there.”

“You know it’s true.”

His cold eyes harden. “But you didn’t, because where were you, huh? While I was watching the love of my life die, where was my big brother?”

“That is enough!” Mum snaps, and stomps her heel against the hard ground.

I shove away from Henry and shake my head, trying to rid the guilt ripping at my insides. When it was him, I wasn’t even in the same country. I was at the peak of my career playing a game while he lost the most important person to him. Being in my situation now, I’ll never forgive myself for that.

Payson’s door opens and Ronni takes that time to duck out. Henry isn’t far behind her, storming his way from the room. Jethro walks through with a single eyebrow raised. “I take it that was your brother?”

I grumble but shake it off because being worked up helps no one. Mum taps me on the shoulder, and I fall into the chair across from Janelle and grab Payson’s other hand. Dropping my head to her hand, I kiss her knuckles and soak up the relief only she can give me. It’s been a fucking headache today and it’s all catching up to me now. I’d love nothing more than to talk to Payson.

“Your brother,” she whispers for only me to hear since Mum and Jethro are busy chatting away. “I didn’t think anyone could be a bigger asshole than you, but then he strolls in. Is it an English thing?”

I lift my head, cock my eyebrow, and scowl, but she doesn’t back down. “Well, is it?”

“No.” I roll my eyes. “Maybe. I don’t fucking know, but I’m glad I’m less of an asshole than him.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t flirt with both Payson and I when we first met, did you?”

Fucking hell, Henry. I might be the older brother but he should not follow in my footsteps. He’s still older than these girls by a lot. Pot-kettle but still. We need not make it a family trait of going after girls nearly half our age. It’s not a great look.

I shouldn’t be surprised, and I guess I’m not if I really think about it, I’d just rather not. If there is a pussy near by, he will flirt with it. Part of his “charm.” What doesn’t make sense is why Ronni was entertaining it.

“Isn’t Ronni dating a photographer or something?”

Janelle shrugs. “Guess not. Ronni isn’t a cheater, just a liar and a bad friend, apparently.”

Hearing Janelle’s harsh attitude toward someone meant to be the third of their trio surprises me. It’s not my business but that’s never stopped me from digging into Payson’s affairs anyway, so I ask about it.

Sadness flashes across her face and she bites on her bottom lip. “I thought when I moved to California, Ronni and I would be close again. Like me and Pay are, but that’s not at all what happened. I called her a few times before school picked up, but she was either always busy or just didn’t answer. Then school started and I got busy. We chatted with Pay, and that’s the only time I we spoke.”

“I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to complain to Payson because she obviously had her own shit going on, but yeah. It was jarring, as you would say, for a while. I don’t even know why she flew back with me.”

The obvious answer is to see Payson, but here we sit and where is she? Even with the fight between Janelle and her, if she cared, she would put it behind her and be here right alongside us.

“What do you think is going on?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t know if I want to.”

“Meaning?”

Janelle meets my eyes with a serious look. “Ronni isn’t the friend we once knew. She has secrets now.”

The way she says that sends an uneasy feeling throughout my body. I can’t explain it, but I’m not sure I trust Ronni, and I definitely don’t want her around Payson while she goes through whatever she is going through. It’s selfish, but I’m not anything if not selfish when it comes to Payson. I probably can’t make my feelings known to Payson when she awakens, but I’ll figure out something if it comes to it. She can’t be worrying about others while she is healing.

Ronni rubbed me the wrong way in California, and not just because she disapproved of my relationship with Payson—most would. It was something else, like Janelle said, she has secrets. She’s not who she seems on the outside, and I caught onto it. Maybe it was the small conversation I had with Monica, I’m unsure, but something didn’t sit right. And now, her disappearing is leaving behind a bitter taste.

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