Page 8 of Heal For Me

My guard is up immediately. We discussed what happens with her after she gets out of here, but neither of us could come to a conclusion we both liked. I said she would live with me, but he didn’t like that, and I wasn’t on board with her at his place. Last I knew, we agreed to not agree on anything and decide when she woke up. Even letting her decide if she is capable.

“She’s not living with you.” I release Payson’s hand before standing. I’m pissed and the last thing I need to do is squeeze her too hard.

“I spoke with Vicky this morning. She’s in no state to take in a teenage girl, especially one like Payson.” He levels his stare, as if I don’t know what he’s talking about. I know exactly what he is talking about, and I know exactly what she needs. Me. “She signed Payson’s guardianship to me.”

I wasn’t thrilled about Vicky being assigned her guardian, but since she was the only family in the area, it made sense. Knowing she would not support our relationship and I couldn’t ask Payson to sneak, I figured she turned eighteen soon enough and our relationship could pick back up. Now, if Jethro is her guardian, I know he will do whatever he can to keep us apart.

“Over my dead fucking body.”

“You don’t have a choice, Coach.” He’s taunting me, and I’m in just enough of a bad mood to feed into it, so I’m in his face in a second.

“Don’t bloody act like that’s all I am to her. We both know when she wakes up, she’s choosing my house.”

Anger burns deep in his eyes that resemble Payson’s, yet hold a darkness hers don’t.

“She won’t have a choice. Payson is seventeen for nine more months. As long as she is living under my roof, she will not be seeing her thirty-three-year-old coach.”

“Say it.”

He shifts, and I know I don’t have to explain what I mean. He knows. Not once has he admitted to Payson and me dating. He always had a stupid word to put in place of dating, like seeing. What the fuck does that even mean. He’s acting as if he can stop her from seeing me, but he can’t because I am her coach as well as her boyfriend. She’s going to see me one way or another.

“Say it,” I demand, inching closer so we are nearly nose to nose. “Say it. Girlfriend. Soulmate. Future wife. Because she’s all that.” I inch closer. “She’s. Mine.”

He raises his fist, but I am expecting it and able to dodge it before it connects with my face. I grab his stupid collar and slam him against the wall, but he flips us and does the same to me. I sputter as the air drains from my lungs, but I don’t let up on my grip and neither does he.

“I kill men for doing the same shit you are, and the only reason you’re not dead and I’m not turning you in is because she’s lost enough recently.”

“Enough!” Janelle shouts, her voice bouncing off the walls. “You think what Payson needs right now is two Neanderthals fighting over what they believe is best for her?”

Neither Jethro nor I say anything or loosen our grips.

“You’re going to have to accept their relationship, Mr. Gilbert. But Ash—” She sighs and drops her eyes to her best friend. “I don’t think your house is the place for her.” I’m not able to open my mouth before she continues. “Parker is having a rough time, and I don’t think bringing a broken Payson into that mix will help anyone. Including her.”

Parker is having a rough time, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who picked up on it, but I wish there was nothing to pick up on. My son has been with me for a few months and how much of that time have I spent focusing on him and his needs? Hardly any.

I shove Jethro away as he backs away. I straighten my shirt, not looking at anyone as I take my place next to Payson.

“What are you suggesting?” Jethro’s voice is as unsure as I feel myself.

“Well, I have been looking up places that help with . . .” We all know where she’s going. “And there is one right near me. The reviews are amazing. I was waiting to bring it up at a better time, but when’s a better time than you two about to rip out each other’s throats?”

“What is the name?” Jethro asks.

“It’s called Blue Gate Help Center.”

I gawk at the two of them. “You’re not actually considering sending her away, are you?”

But the look on his face says it all.

“Sending her away won’t change our relationship.” I hope.

He rolls his eyes. “My feelings toward you and Payson’s relationship has nothing to do with the fact that Janelle is right. Payson needs help,” He holds up a hand to cut me off. “Help that neither of us can give her.”

“Bullshit,” I hiss.

“Ash,” Janelle mutters, dragging my gaze to her. Jethro turns and heads from the room with his phone to his ear. “I love how much you love my best friend.” Tears fill her eyes and I look away, a new heaviness weighing down my chest. “But she needs help from someone that can’t persuade their beliefs with feelings. Look what happen with just a little convincing.”

Her fingers drag over Payson’s visible cuts, and I can feel a make-believe blade cutting apart my insides as she does.

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