Page 10 of The Holiday Heartbreaker

It was so deeply unfair, because Carter never acted mean or impatient. Because Carter didn’t have Benny for long enough to ever feel stretched thin. Because he wasn’t the one who did homework. Or bath time or bedtime or parent-teacher conferences. Because he wasn’t buying school supplies and counting every dime. Because he didn’t have to do discipline and consistency.

Carter just got to be Teflon with everything sliding right off, and it all stuck to her.

Yeah. Brody was probably one of those Teflon men.

For all she knew, he had several kids of his own, and not a single wife. Maybe he was used to these casual interactions with kids because he was often patting them on the head and sending them to be dealt with by their mothers when it came to anything serious or real.

Yeah. That sounded about right.

This imaginary Brody made her angry, and she welcomed it.

It didn’t matter how hot he was. It didn’t change the likely truth.

Anyway, she was not the kind of woman who could afford the cost of hot men. She didn’t know how to do that whole thing. She had forfeited her youth to Carter. And now what was left of it was being given to Benny. What it amounted to was: too many men in her life already.

“It’s not gross, is it?” she asked, lifting the spoon to her lips and taking a sip.

It was actually amazing.

“No,” he grumbled.

“Have some bread and butter,” she said, pushing the bread down toward him, along with a pat of butter and a small wooden knife that was more like a spatula.

After he had about six pieces of bread and butter, she quietly called dinner a triumph. She wasn’t going to say anything to him about it, because she didn’t want any attitude.

She did not know how she was going to survive this boy’s teenage years. The very thought of it made her chest ache, and she felt guilty for what she had just been thinking. That she was sacrificing anything for Benny.

She loved him.

The worst thing wasn’t him thinking Carter was more fun than she was. The worst was the pain that would inevitably come when he realized exactly what kind of man Carter was.

He didn’t see it now, and sometimes that frustrated her. But she should be grateful. Because eventually, he’d see it all too clearly.

He yawned.

“You sleepy?” she asked, smiling.

“No,” he said.

“You know, cowboys keep pretty early hours, so I have a feeling that when Brody comes by to give us the grand tour it’s going to be a lot earlier than you want to wake up. And then next week you have to start school, so it’s going to be a lot of early mornings then too.”

“I hate getting up early.”

“I know. But no matter how many times I called the school system, they don’t see the point in changing the schedule just to suit you. Bummer, right?”

“You never called anybody.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do,” he said. “You hate calling people on the phone.”

Of course the kid paid unerring attention to her and her behaviors when it suited him.

“Maybe I sent an email,” she said.

Even though he was still grumpy, this felt better. More like a return to their usual relationship. As far as she was concerned, it was them against the world. She just knew that he didn’t see it that way. And again, she should be grateful for that. He loved his dad. He loved his stepmother, and his half siblings. And she might only see the flaws in the way that relationship worked, but Benny saw good things in it, and for as long as that lasted, she should be glad.

“Bedtime,” she said.

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