Page 104 of The Holiday Heartbreaker

“I don’t have that kind of shit in me, Lach. It isn’t my thing.”

“Why not?”

“What do you mean, why not?”

“I mean why not? I know why we’re messed up.” And he knew just what Lachlan meant. Lachlan, Tag, Hunter, and Gus. Not Brody. Because they were them. And he was separate. “We spent all of our lives getting used as dad’s punching bags. But what the hell is your problem, Brody?”

He’d always felt it. But it shocked him to hear Lachlan say it so forcefully, when he never had before. “I’ve had stitches more times than I can count,” Lachlan said. “Broken bones that never got healed. Shit. I’m like a walking catalog of minor injuries. And you... You don’t have a scar on you. Why the hell can’t you just get over it? Gus has a wife. Dad lit him on fire.”

“Saving your ass,” Brody pointed out.

Charity moved, and it was almost like she put her body between Lachlan and Brody. And Brody was under no illusion that she was protecting him. Not even remotely. It was all Lachlan that she was standing in front of. It was only Lachlan that she cared about.

“It isn’t Lachlan’s fault that your dad went after him,” Charity said. “He was a kid.”

“I know that. But he’s acting like I chose to not get my ass beat. I mean, I wouldn’t have chosen to get my ass beat. But no one asked.”

“I’m just saying. You have the luxury of being a little bit less screwed up. Do something with it.”

“Where is this coming from? Because you were in total agreement with me about single mothers just a couple of weeks ago.”

“Because I didn’t realize... Look at you. With her. You can’t let it go. If you could let it go, you would have. So what? You’re going to pretend that nothing is happening just because... Because why?”

“Because something is wrong with me,” Brody said, and he didn’t know he was going to say that until the words came out of his mouth. He hadn’t known that he felt that.

He didn’t know what to say. Clearly, Lachlan didn’t either.

Or Charity.

It just got all quiet.

“What?” Lachlan asked finally.

“I don’t know, Lachlan. I don’t know. But something is. And I just want to keep my head down, and keep doing my work on the ranch, and keep going out on the weekends until...”

“Until you die?”

“Until I fucking die. Are you happy? Does that make you happy? Do you feel like you understand now what I want and where I’m coming from?”

“No. I don’t understand. I don’t understand you, Brody.”

“Well, good thing you don’t have to. Because I didn’t ask. I didn’t ask for this little intervention. I didn’t ask for your opinion. I didn’t ask to get taken to task over the fact that I didn’t get abused. I didn’t... I didn’t do anything. I didn’t.”

Lachlan suddenly looked regretful. “I know you didn’t. I know... Dammit. I’m sorry. I just...”

“Don’t fight,” Charity said, pleading. “Your lives were a mess, and being mean to each other about it isn’t going to fix it.”

He knew that was true. He was afraid that nothing would fix it. Not a damn thing.

Something is wrong with me.

He hadn’t realized that he thought that until he said those words.

“I need another drink.”

“Feel free to get plastered,” Lachlan said. “I’m already designated driving this one,” he said, gesturing to Charity. “I’ll just take you both home, and you can get the pickup later.”

And he decided that was a damn good idea. He was going to go ahead and get plastered, because it was better than having feelings.

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