Page 120 of The Holiday Heartbreaker

“This kind of thing isn’t fair.” She pressed her forehead to his, her breath a cloud in the cold air. “You’re my favorite, Brody McCloud. Maybe that isn’t fair, but it’s how it is.”

Her favorite.

He knew what it was to be the favorite. The favorite of a psychopath. He couldn’t say that he liked it. But this was Elizabeth. Lizzie.

And being her favorite felt different. Even if it shouldn’t.

He closed the distance between them and kissed her, luxuriating in the feel of her soft mouth against his. Just kissed her.

Because it felt good to have someone sit with him. Because it felt good to have someone listen.

And everything in his chest was heavy, a jumble of things that he didn’t want to untangle, and someday he’d have to...

Or you won’t. Because this holiday will come to an end, and it doesn’t have a bearing on the rest of your life. Because it’s just a holiday. That’s all it is.

A vacation from being alone.

Because haven’t you had enough?

They kissed out there in the snow, sitting in the sleigh, the achingly beautiful wilderness stretching on around them in silent glory, the pine trees cloaked in white winter coats, every sound dampened by the snow.

He could hear his heartbeat, he was sure of it.

Something wild and new, and terrifying, beginning to take root in him. Like a flower trying to grow beneath the surface of all the ice.

Just like that.

But the problem was, the ice would eventually win. And it wouldn’t be strong enough to break through. Because of course it wouldn’t be. Because that was the kind of thing reserved for the miraculous, and miraculous was one thing his life had never been.

He wanted fiercely in that moment. An image that he couldn’t quite hold steady in his mind, a feeling that he couldn’t find a name for. He wanted. But there was no purpose to it. No point. And in the end, it would be nothing more than that frozen-over wasteland.

“Ready to head back home?” She asked the question gently, softly. She meant her place, and it wasn’t his home. He shouldn’t go back with her, come to that. He should start to put some distance between them, because when it ended, it was going to feel like having a limb separated from his body, because he had gotten too used to this, and it wasn’t right.

But instead he cracked the reins and began to turn the large sleigh, skimming over the snow. “Yeah. Let’s go home.”

Because there was one thing he was good at, it was living a lie. He’d done it for more than ten years now.

So what was one more?

Except the dark, thrilling thing that he realized as they hurtled back toward the house was that she knew his lies now.

And he was terrified that she would look inside of him and see all the rest. Before he’d even had a chance to identify them. More than anything.

And that scared him most of all.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

NEW YEAR’S EVE, the McClouds apparently did have a celebration. Because it was something that involved fireworks and drinking. And it seemed they were all very much for fireworks and drinking.

And bonfires.

Unlike at the town hall meeting, this bonfire would be set up at McCloud’s Landing. Down by the river bank. It was nearest to Hunter’s house, which was situated right there so that he could fish, so he said.

They brought out coolers filled with beer, platters of cake and a passel of what looked to be legally questionable fireworks.

“Totally on the up-and-up,” Lachlan said.

“Yeah,” Tag said. “Some guy sells them on the side of the road.”

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