Page 61 of Hearts to Mend

Manny remains frozen, his arms wide, his eyes bouncing between us.

Rico waves him over. “It’s only my groin you have to be careful about.”

“Trust me, hermanito, I’m not going anywhere near your groin,” he says with a chuckle as he wraps his baby brother in a sweet hug.

The commotion wakes Javi, who comes to greet us too. First, they connect with Rico, whispering sweet brotherly love as they hug him, and then they come for me.

They act like I’m family too—they always have. Coming from a dysfunctional family, I always loved being part of Rico’s, and it’s like nothing has changed. Like to them, I’ll always be one of them. While that might be standard operating procedure for the Rodriguez family, for me, these hugs have meaning, so much meaning.

Once we’ve run the gauntlet of affection, Rico goes over to the couch and sits beside his sleeping son. He reaches for Mateo, like he’s going to lift him up. I hate that I have to stop him. “You can’t lift anything over ten pounds right now, baby. Straining could reopen your wound.”

The look in his eyes breaks my heart. All he wants to do is pick up his sleeping son and hold him. And I’m the killjoy who’s in the way. I come around the couch and help Rico lift the pillow under Mateo’s head so he can slide in close. This kid is a heavy sleeper, hardly stirring from all that commotion.

Rico strokes his palm over his son’s back and then brushes a few strands of hair out of his face as he softly speaks, “Matty, I’m home.”

While the commotion didn’t stir him, his father’s voice does. Mateo slowly wakes, blinking his eyes open, and he springs up, clambering to climb his dad for a hug. He’s all elbows and knees, and I’m glad that throw pillow is on Rico’s lap to protect his incision site.

After nearly choking his father with affection, Mateo settles onto Rico’s lap and tells his dad all about his amazing day, again. Rico smiles wide as he listens, and it’s the second time I’ve seen him smile like that since his return to town, since the stroke and all the madness surrounding it, since his surgery today fixed the biggest problem that’s plagued Rico lately.

Weirdly, the sight of his joy triggers tears in me. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen Rico do, and it’s yet another reason I forgive him for everything that happened between us.

These emotions are confusing and strange. I don’t understand any of what I’m feeling right now. It’s probably just exhaustion. I turn to quietly take my leave and let the Rodriguez family enjoy their time together, but I find Inez there, blocking my path to the door.

In a hushed voice, so as not to interrupt the precious moment taking place on her couch, Inez explains, “The boys and I discussed it earlier. Mateo can sleep in my bed tonight, and Javi will switch rooms and sleep in Rico’s old bed so you two will have some extra room.”

Wait. What?

Probably sensing my shock, she adds gently, “Of course, Dee Marie, you don’t have to stay the night if you’d rather not. I certainly do not want to make you feel uncomfortable or obliged. But honestly, no one can keep that boy in line like you can. It would be helpful to have you here, reminding him to take care of himself.”

Damn. This is weird. Is Rico’s mom matchmaking right now? She’s literally setting us up to sleep together. But he’s just had surgery…on his groin. It’s not like this is a mom-sanctioned sexcapade.

Of course, I have EMT training. I know how to properly and efficiently apply pressure to stop a massive bleed. It’s smart, really, to keep me around. That’s what this is.

So I nod and accept her invite, awkwardly. “I… Uh… Okay…”

Inez disappears down the hall. Rico turns to me, sharing a perplexed look and a chuckle. But seriously: What just happened?

Once Mateo has finished updating his dad on his adventurous day, he starts to drift back toward sleep again. I can tell how much Rico wants to carry his son to bed, but Javi volunteers, and so they get Mateo down in his abuela’s bed for the night, and Inez turns in too. After some grown-up conversation between the brothers about today’s procedure, we all start yawning, and it’s time for us to get some sleep.

No one says anything about me staying over. They all just act like it’s the most natural thing in the world for me to be here, spending the night with their baby brother. I act like it’s natural, too, even though this is the first time we’ll fall asleep together at night and wake up together in the morning.

I try not to think about that as Rico strips his T-shirt off, and I help with his pants. I pretend not to notice how close my face is to his gorgeous cock. I keep things professional when removing the bandage over his incision to let it “breathe,” as the doctor ordered, making sure it’s still healthy and intact.

As hot as he is when he’s naked, none of this is about sex. It’s about caring, and that makes it more difficult to keep my head on straight. Sex is easy. It’s transactional. Caring—it’s hard and messy and meaningful.

I turn away, giving him a pat on the arm to let him know he can lie down. Then I get ready, pulling my bra off through the sleeves of my tee and kicking off my sneakers and jeans before I join him in bed.

But I can’t sleep. I’m wired, twitchy, and full of questions. This is absurd. How am I supposed to relax when I’m in bed with the love of my life, he’s totally naked, and his mom and son are asleep on the other side of the wall? Ugh!

Giving voice to one of my concerns, I whisper, “This is strange. What if Mateo gets the wrong idea?”

“What’s the wrong idea?”

I don’t know the answer to that question. What are we? If Matty sees us together, assumes we’re together, is there anything wrong with that?

“Look, I understand your concern, and I appreciate it. But even if you decide you don’t want to be with me romantically, I hope we will remain as close as we always used to be. You’ve been my best friend since I was eight … No, more than that. You’ve been part of this family. You still are part of this family. Matty adores you, I adore you, my whole family adores you as one of our own. You have as much right to be here as anyone.”

“Sharing a bed with you?”

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