Page 3 of Bratva Bastard

I walked through the front door, a million thoughts running through my mind as I set my bag down to change my sweaty clothes for something clean. After lunch with my mother, I’d have to go straight to my next shift, so I had to dress accordingly, and slipped on a black V-neck and jeans. Simple and functional. Just my style.

Tucking my long dark hair behind my ear, I straightened my clothes and asked my mother for the millionth time if she was feeling well enough to go to lunch. She insisted she was, as she had the other fifty times.

We drove down the road to Trancoso Square, a quaint plaza not far from the beach. Quiet by day, lively by night. Gabby and I used to joke that Trancoso was for parents during the day and teenagers at night. Granted, we were teens when we said that; it really was transformative in a unique way.

Now, more often, I preferred the day—the quiet and calm. My hectic life was a constant, and I appreciated every moment of peace I could find.

We ordered our food and were halfway through eating when my mother asked me if I’d be seeing Luiz tonight. And there it was.

“Maybe. If he stops by the bar.” I shrugged and took a bite of my food, washing it down with a glass of water.

She stared off into the distance, wistfully adding, “I hear wedding bells in your future. Tell me, if he proposed, would you say yes?”

I nodded, not meeting her gaze or glancing up from my plate. Sensing my hesitation, she continued with her long list of reasons Luiz was the ideal husband, beginning with his looks and ending with his loyalty. The in-betweens? His recent promotion that guaranteed security, his kind and calm nature, and his affection for me. The same list she’d read off a million times before.

Did Luiz sound like the perfect man? A dream come true? Absolutely. Even I couldn’t deny that he was a catch, and any woman would be lucky to be his wife.

“You know, Crissy, you’re not getting any younger. You should get tied down, start a family. I’d like to have some grandchildren running around the house soon. Do you know if Luiz wants a family?”

I nodded, swallowing hard. “Yes. Luiz said he’d be happy with three or four children.” It was something we’d talked about once, long ago, when we were simply dreaming of the future. Before my mother learned she had cancer, before those heavy expectations weighed me down.

“Oh, that’s great, mija. He’d be an excellent father.” She happily hummed as she ate her food, pleased with my answer. Of course she was. That was why I’d said it.

By the time I got my mother to talk about something other than Luiz, marriage, and kids, it was time for me to leave for my next shift. I dropped her off at home before heading to the bar.

Thoughts of babies and wedding dresses cluttered my mind. Sure, it was a daydream most women fantasized about, probably even after they got married. What girl doesn’t fantasize about her dream wedding, or having children? Even the women who don’t want children have probably thought about what it would be like to have them.

I walked behind the counter, relieving Marco of his duty, and jumped straight to work at stocking the bar. A few customers hung around—regulars or people visiting Trancoso, staying at the hotel that housed the bar. I preferred nights like that because it meant I could get the checklist done quicker, and with less of a mess. But more than anything, I enjoyed the chance to think, without interruption.

Then again, there were those off-days when you wanted noise and clutter to keep you too busy to think. Those were the days I dreaded.

An hour into my shift, Luiz stopped by, holding out a seashell. He shook away the stray hair that covered his face, revealing a dimple on one cheek when he smiled. “I was on the beach earlier and thought this shell was pretty. It reminded me of you.”

I leaned over the bar and he kissed my cheek, giving me a light squeeze before letting me go. Holding the shell up, I admired it. The perfect seashell. The kind you’d see in a magazine, if they had a magazine of seashells. I placed it on a shelf behind the bar, between two dancing hula girls. It fit right in with the rest of the decorations.

“Perfect,” he said with a grin. “Now you can think about me every time you turn around.” He chuckled at his own joke—something he did often—and I laughed in response.

“Do you want to meet up after my shift ends?” I asked, silently hoping he wouldn’t. Not that I didn’t want to see him, but by then it would be late and I’d be too exhausted to give him any attention. Though it wasn’t like he would mind. Luiz was perfectly content with letting me fall asleep on the couch next to him watching a movie. My mother was right—Luiz was a great guy, and I should try harder.

“I’d love to but I have to get up early tomorrow for work. Ever since I got that promotion, I’ve had to be there an hour earlier.” He pouted dramatically, and I rolled my eyes. Our typical banter—mild, tame. Nothing too outrageous.

“Oh, that’s right,” I said, wiping the counter. “That’s too bad. Maybe after I get back from my trip?”

“Sounds great, darling. I need to go now, but be safe on your trip tomorrow. And don’t worry about your mother, I’ll make sure she gets her meds.”

I nodded, forcing a smile. “The Rochas said they’d stop by tomorrow.” Though I had full confidence in my best friend’s parents, I couldn’t help but worry.

“Well, I’ll stop by and check on Mama anyway, just to be sure.” He’d only recently started calling her Mama. Despite my mother’s denial, I’m pretty sure she was the one who instigated it, and I’m certain it was last Thursday afternoon when Luiz was there visiting mama, and I was at work, because when I’d returned home from that shift to see him there, he always called her Mama after that.

“Thank you,” I said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it.

“Of course. I’ll stop by every evening after work to make sure she’s taking her medication. But I need to head home and shower. Today was exhausting, and I’m ready to crash. I’ll see you when you get back. Love you, sweetie.”

I gave him a quick kiss and he turned to walk away, adding, “And don’t stress out about the flight. Just take a couple Xanax and you’ll be fine.”

That’s what I’d planned on doing.

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