Page 31 of Bratva Bastard

Gemma left for the kitchen to gather the food and plates. Crissy went with her, saying a pregnant woman shouldn’t be forced to carry everything herself, as she shot me a glare. Why was everyone so pissed atme? Dimitry wasn’t helping, either.

When it was only the men in the room, Dimitry sat in the chair and huffed out an irritated breath. “Maxim, you’re supposed to be in Brazil tohidefrom Sorokin. But the way you’ve been prancing around town, you’re going to get found out again. Is one close call not enough for you?”

“Dimitry, relax. I understand your concern, but trust me, Crissy isn’t going to hurt me.”

“That’s another thing,” he said, pointing an accusatory finger in my direction. “You can’t be bringing girls back here, Maxim. I know you’re used to living a wild, carefree lifestyle, but there will be none of that here.”

“Yes,Dad,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “It’s not like that, you know. Crissy isn’t just some tramp I hooked up with at the bar. She saved me, bro. She’s real, and she has my back. I trust her, and you should, too.”

He stared at me with skepticism, scrutinizing my words paired with my facial expression. Cocking his head to the side, he said, “You really like her, don’t you?” A knowing smile spread across his smug face, and this time it was me rolling my eyes.

“Can we not do this?” I asked, waiting for the gushing over my finding a woman to end. “Yes, I like her. Now drop it.”

Dimitry let out a hearty laugh and held his hands out in surrender. “Whatever you say, brother. As long as you’re not bringing random women into my house, then Crissy can stay. She seems like a nice woman.”

“Oh, she is,” I said, gushing enough for both of us, and then groaning at my reaction. Thank god it was just us in that room. I’d have probably died from humiliation if Crissy or Gemma heard me speak about her so fondly.

“She’s kind and polite, but she also doesn’t take shit from anyone. She has a feisty side that’s just—I don’t know, but I love it.”

Expressing my feelings was not something I had done often, and I lacked the ability to form words when I tried to explain myself. So I stood up to help the women carry out the food and dishes.

Dinner was great. Crissy and Gemma bonded quickly, and Dimitry seemed to like Crissy almost as much as Gemma. She had a way of making everyone feel comfortable, and she brought a positivity with her wherever she went, spreading the energy to those around her.

After dinner, she offered to wash the dishes, but Gemma refused, saying a guest should not wash dishes. But Crissy was relentless, and eventually Gemma caved, heading to the tub to soak her swollen feet, while Crissy and I cleaned up. And when we finished that, we went back to my room, to have sex once again.

13

Crissy

Icouldn’t keep doing this to Luiz. No longer would I lead him on, or play the role of happily in love when I wasn’t.

Knocking on the door, I took a deep breath to steady myself.This was it. After several years of being with him, it would soon be over.

As much as I loved being with Maxim, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of grief. Sure, there was a lot of relief that accompanied that feeling, but I was still ending a relationship, and it made me sad. Not that I didn’t want it to end, but it was several years of my life tied up and shipped off, never to return again.

Luiz answered after a moment. His eyes lit up and he pulled me into a hug. “Hey, Cris.” He kissed my cheek, and though I didn’t push him away, I didn’t pursue him further.

“Hey, Luiz. Can we talk?”

He nodded, inviting me in. I took the familiar path to my spot on the couch. This would probably be the last time I’d sit in that spot. Sure, we could be friends, but it would be too weird to visit with him at his home.

I declined the tea or coffee he offered and jumped right to the point. No sense in dragging it out. What’s done is done, and I can’t take back anything with Maxim. I didn’twantto.

“Luiz, I don’t think we should be in a relationship anymore.”

I laid it out, clear and concise—almost too much so. There wasn’t any emotion in my voice, and I couldn’t tell if that was because I was avoiding it, or simply didn’t feel it.

Luiz, always the gentleman, took a seat beside me on the couch, only close enough to talk. “Why do you think that?” he asked. “Is there a reason you feel that way?”

Facing away, I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I refused to tell him about Maxim. Not for my own guilt, but because Luiz had been such a great guy the entire time we went out. He didn’t deserve the pain frommydecisions. But he did deserve some honesty, so I explained my feelings—mytruefeelings—for the first time.

“I love you, Luiz, I really do—but as a friend. I’ve tried to see you as something more, and for a while I did, but we aren’t right for each other. You’re a good man, but I want to be with someone who gives me sparks and butterflies. I want to feel passion, desire. You’re many wonderful things to me, Luiz, but you aren’t that.”

He nodded in understanding, and for a moment I questioned whether he’d felt the same about me. I debated asking, but figured what was the point? We were done either way.

“Crissy,” he said, taking my hand in his. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? Why did you stay with me for so long if you didn’t have romantic feelings?”

I shook my head, too humiliated to admit thewhyaspect. “I don’t know…a few reasons, really. I didn’t want to hurt you, or make you feel undeserving, or like you’d done something wrong. Because you didn’t. Hands down, you’re one of the best men I’ve ever met. Any woman would be truly lucky to be with you, Luiz. And I guess knowing how great you are, I thought that it was stupid to give that up. Plus, my mother was insistent we get married, and she was always telling me how lucky I was to be with you, how you’d make such a great husband.”

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