Page 38 of Bratva Bastard

Crissy

Glancing in my visor mirror, I primped my hair and touched up my makeup once more—hiding the bags under my eyes the best I could—before I got out of my car to walk up to the same door I’d seen every day for a month.

Maxim invited me to have dinner, so I happily accepted, excited to do something with him that an ordinary couple would do. I was a lovesick fool, walking into that home believing I’d be spending the evening in the most wonderfully happy way possible. But from the moment I stepped through the door, the bleak atmosphere shifted my previously jovial mood.

Gemma greeted me, walking with me to the dining room. “Dinner’s almost done, so I hope you’re hungry,” she said with a smile. I nodded, smiling back despite the uneasiness settling in my belly.

I didn’t know why the air felt so heavy, but the grim expression on Maxim’s face before he saw me told me something was up.

“Hey,” I said, walking over to him and wrapping my arms around his neck as I pulled him in for a kiss.

His movement was stiff, as if he was absent from his actions, his mind elsewhere. Just as Gemma had said, dinner finished cooking only moments later, and we all sat down to eat. The conversation was fine, typical, nothing too interesting. And although everyone smiled, and no one said anything negative, the atmosphere was heavy, thick with a tension I couldn’t describe, an apprehension.

All I knew was that something was about to happen, and thisfeeling—this energized static that made all the hairs on my arms stand on end, was an omen.

After dinner, Maxim and I went back to his room, and sat on the bed.

“Dinner was delicious,” I said, an attempt to break the tension that no one had mentioned. I couldn’t be the only one feeling it.

“Mhm.”

“Yes,” Maxim responded, but he wasn’t even looking up, or paying attention.

I sighed, placing my hands in my lap. “What’s going on? Why does everything feel so… weird and tense?”

“You could feel it?” Maxim asked, a grim expression on his face, a sadness drowning in those ocean eyes. “I need to tell you something that you’re not going to like, but I have to do it.”

Turning away, my eyes caught the red bags piled in the corner of the room. My breathing hitched, and I couldn’t even remember how to exhale. All I could do was hold my breath as I waited for the bad news.

“I’m going back to Russia.”

And there it was. The bad news. The omen revealed. Everything I’d felt all evening led up to this. I wanted to cry, to grieve this loss, but I couldn’t do that in the room with Maxim. Despite how close we’ve grown, that was an intimacy I couldn’t bear to face at that moment. Not when I knew he’d be leaving soon.

“When?” I asked. “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow.”

I swallowed hard, a lump in my throat burning, blocking my ability to breathe. “That’s so soon,” I murmured, biting my lip to hold in the tears.

“Misha said his family is in danger, so I need to get back as soon as possible. Dimitry and I are flying back tomorrow morning.”

The crushing weight of the news made it impossible for me to hold my head up. All I could do was look at the floor, my shoulders slumped and discouraged. “What am I going to do with my days now?” I teased, using humor to disguise how utterly destroyed I felt inside. Because who knew if I would ever see him again. He’d probably go back to Russia, find another woman, and move on. Meanwhile, I’d still be in Trancoso, working my life away to make ends meet.

“Come with me. To Moscow.”

I jerked my head up to see Maxim’s eyes lit up, and he grabbed both of my hands with fervent enthusiasm. “You can open your own yoga studio, and we could be together every day, without working your life away.You could get some sleep,” he added with a wink.

Maybe we wouldn’t have to end this.

I had to admit, it sounded like a dream come true. Living in another country, owning my own studio, not being exhausted 75% of the time…being with the man that—although I’d yet to say it out loud—I’d fallen for.

Eventhinkingthe words sent a tingle through my body, making me both lighter than air, and weighed down from anxiety. I’d never fallen in love before, yet here I was, holding the hands of the man I couldn’t imagine not spending every day of my life with.

How was that possible after only a month?

I couldn’t even begin to guess that answer, but I didn’t want to think about thehowsorwhys. I only wanted to enjoy and soak up every moment with him that I could, while I could. Because deep down in my gut, in the depths of my soul, I knew that this was it. The life I wanted would never be mine, and it broke my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible, shattering every bit of me.

Looking away, I couldn’t face him as I spoke, my voice raw and cracked from the anguish that swallowed me.”I can’t. God, I wish I could, but I can’t leave my mother. She needs me.” After the words had left my mouth, I finally got the courage to look back up to him.

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