Page 100 of Illicit Heir

Maybe I need to tell him.

No, I can't.

"Don't go to the O'Connors. They will take the baby from ya," Mum asserts again, as if she can read what's on my mind.

Is she right?

No, they wouldn't.

I can't be sure.

"They wouldn't, but don't worry, Mum. I'm not going to anyone," I say, then spin on my heel and leave the room. I go into the bedroom and shut the door. I pick up the phone and stare at the text exchange I had with Devin earlier on, tempted to go to the flat.

Mum will find out if I meet him.

Who cares at this point? I need to see him.

I decide that Devin's right. We do need to talk, and I don't know if I should tell him about the baby, but at least I can feel him out.

Feel him out how? What am I even going to say?

I shove my insecurities down and grab my wallet. I walk out of the bedroom.

"Where are ya going?" Mum asks.

"I need some air."

"You're going to see him, aren't ya?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm sure he's left town by now," I lie.

She gives me a knowing look.

"I'm going for a walk. I need to cool off. Do not do anything you'll regret regarding Caleb and me, Mum. Promise me."

She repeats, "I already put my feelers out, Lauren."

My gut drops further. I beg, "Mum, do not tell him when ya find him. Do not."

She releases an anxious breath. "I won't say anything until ya agree, but eventually, ya will agree, Lauren."

"I won't," I firmly insist.

Pity crosses her face again. I hate it, and she claims, "But you will."

"No, I won't. I'm going for a walk. I'll see ya later," I state and leave the house.

I take a deep breath of the cold air, welcoming the wind slapping my face and fight it at the same time as I walk several blocks to the pub.

When I walk in, I freeze.

The shattered mirror has been replaced. And everything I thought would be stained up isn't.

New flooring and wallpaper have been installed. A few of the booths have new leather on the seats.

It all looks beautiful, but it's already different. It's another slap in the face that the pub is no longer mine. Then I see the new barmaids.

They're women who've taken oaths for the O'Connors to be here. They're the same people who used to come in here, get drunk, and not respect the place.

---