Page 47 of Coffin Up Love

My brow darts up as I open my mouth to reply, a little unsure what to say. What does he mean to apologize? And how am I going to find her, anyway?

“Hello?”

“I’m still here, just wrapping my head around your suggestion.”

“Look, you always wait for people to disappoint you. You assume the worst and wait for them to prove you right. But if you wait long enough, you will always find something bad. You will always find a reason to justify why. Nobody’s perfect, okay? You don’t know how to give anybody grace. Not even yourself.”

I hate where Marcel’s going with this. “She could still –”

“No, she really couldn’t have, Emile.” I suck a breath in through my teeth at this. He never uses my name, not unless he has more to say. “Can you imagine how hard it was for her to navigate this situation?”

“What about me!” I can only throw one hand up in the air since I’m gripping my phone with the other. I blame this equally on Marcel and Clarissa/Shauna — wherever she is.

“What about you? You met someone. That’s great. And I –”

“I just want to get back to the plan. The boat is done, and I’m out of here as soon as my ribs feel better.” Though vampires are known to recuperate quicker than humans, it still isn’t instant. And if I’m spending weeks on end out at sea, I want to be in tip-top shape.

“So you’re not at all curious about where she is?” Marcel’s voice is curt, almost like this has something to do with him, which it doesn’t.

“Why are you pushing this? You don’t have enough work to do?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Where am I supposed to look, huh?” I sound angrier than I mean to. Still, I think the vampire has it coming. I’ve never been this pushy when it comes to Marcel's love life. Can’t he do the same?

“I admit it’ll be hard, but maybe if you get in touch with Agent Todd, he could get a message to her or something. It’s worth a try.”

“And how will I get in touch with the agent you think double-crossed her?” I ask, shifting my weight between my feet. “Why would he warn her then?”

“Okay, so maybe I just wanted to broach the subject.”

“And maybe I’m telling you to stay out of it.” I hear Marcel sigh heavily into the receiver. I purse my lips together but stay quiet. If he’s going to suggest a plan, it should be at least thorough.

“I bet there’s some office number you could call. U.S. Marshals aren’t spies. They’ve got locations. Even if it’s jumping through hoops, Clarissa is still on planet Earth.”

“What?” Even I can’t follow that last reply.

“They’ve got her laying low somewhere, but she’s still around. Somewhere. Get the ball rolling and maybe you’ll get a surprise call.”

“Okay, so I’m supposed to just twiddle my thumbs until she gets back or something? She was the one who put the brakes on things in the first place. I should respect that.” I manage to swallow despite my dry mouth. The idea of Clarissa/Shauna sitting around somewhere not thinking of me stings more than I care to admit.

“You should respect the factthatdecision was most likely because she’s a nice girl,” Marcel almost snaps. I chew my lower lip and silently regret telling Marcel about our shared kiss. Things would be so much easier to forget about if I hadn’t said anything.

“And wherever she is, I wish her well.” It’s not a lie, though there’s more to it than that. Sure, I want the best for her, but I also want answers. What about her life was the truth? Was her mother really scared of tsunamis? Did she ever travel around as a kid like she said?

I listen to Marcel as he explains how he’d run into Clarissa/Shauna while shopping one day. “I mentioned Lauren and how you never trusted her. Looking back, her expression was pretty worried.”

“And your point?” I ask, sounding a little too much like a teenager than I prefer. When was the last time I was so frustrated by a situation?

“She slowed things down because she didn’t want to lie,” Marcel explains. “That should mean something.”

I roll my eyes again, even though maybe Marcel has a point. I just wish I knew if I were more worried or angry about this whole thing. Of course, I miss Clarissa/Shauna and want to know what she’s up to. But sometimes, things need to be forgotten. I’m leaning toward thinking this situation is one of those times.

26

CLARISSA

Iknock the back of my head against the wall. Boredom is setting in rapidly, and being left to silently stew in my own head is miserable. This new safe house, arguably even safer than the last, is dull. It’s an unassuming, bland little house in the middle of a suburb where no one knows their neighbor’s name. It’s perfect for government agents who apparently use this space when they want to avoid notice from just about anyone and everyone.

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