I didn’t want to take away from the moment of seeing the house I bought for us to start our life together. I had envisioned the perfect moment, but now I was filled with apprehension, worried that it might be too soon in our relationship. She was a free spirit. I didn’t want to scare her off.
The house was a pretty, bright blue color. Shiloh picked the color, claiming it matched the sea and complemented the interior walls. I thought it was perfect. We were painting the shutters white, giving the home a very classic appearance. No one in my old life would believe I was painting my own house. My small house.
Ryder was painting alongside me, unaware of the internal struggle I was facing. Shiloh and Penelope had gone down to explore the cove after a busy morning painting the walls in the main bedroom and living room. As we worked, I found myself opening up to him about my desire to propose to Shiloh. He had known her longer than I did, and I valued his opinion more than anything. He would know what I should do.
“I’ve been thinking about proposing to Shiloh,” I confessed, feeling a knot of nervousness forming in my stomach. “But I don’t know if it’s the right time. It’s only been a few months since we started dating, and I don’t want to rush into anything. Am I crazy? Is this way out of left field?”
Ryder paused, set his paintbrush down, and turned to me with a thoughtful expression. “I get where you’re coming from, man. Proposing is a big step, and you want to make sure you’re both ready for it. Shiloh is an amazing person, and I know she cares about you a lot. But you also need to be honest with yourself about your feelings. Are you truly ready for this commitment?”
His words hit me like a splash of cold water, forcing me to confront my own emotions. I cared deeply for Shiloh, and I could see a future with her, but the idea of proposing felt overwhelming. I didn’t want to rush things and risk losing what we had. Maybe I was finding excuses not to propose because I was the one that wasn’t really ready.
“I don’t want to mess things up,” I admitted, my voice tinged with vulnerability. “She means so much to me, and I don’t want to push her away by moving too fast.”
Ryder nodded in understanding. “I get that, but remember, communication is key. Talk to her about how you feel. It’s essential to be on the same page before taking such a big step. If you’re unsure, maybe it’s best to wait a bit longer. There’s no need to rush. If you two are meant to be, things will fall into place when the time is right. Just talk to her.”
His advice was like a soothing balm to my anxious heart. I realized that I needed to trust my instincts and have an honest conversation with Shiloh. It was the only way to know if we were both ready for this next step in our relationship.
As we continued to paint, I resolved to have that conversation with Shiloh soon. I knew that we had something special, and I didn’t want my fears to hold me back from experiencing the joy of being with her. “Thank you,” I said. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to her.”
“I won’t,” he said. “Shiloh has been my best friend for years. She’s always been very reluctant to let herself fall in love.”
“Why?” I asked. “I mean, if you don’t want to tell me, I understand. I only ask because I want to know if she’s got some trauma. I don’t want to do anything that’s going to send her running in the opposite direction from me. If I need to take my time, I will. I’ll let her ease into this.”
“She’s never really had a boyfriend,” he said. “There was one guy, Max, that kind of floated in and out of her life, but they were never serious. She’s been really focused on her work. I think she puts so much energy into her work because she doesn’t want to risk falling in love. She doesn’t want to be derailed.”
“Do you think she’ll be worried I’ll derail her?” I asked.
He laughed. “Relax. Shiloh is crazy in love with you. She’s not worried about getting derailed. Didn’t you agree to go with her?”
“I did.”
“You’re the man she loves,” he said. “Don’t throw it away because you’re worried about what she may or may not want. She wants you. If you’re not ready for marriage, don’t ask her. She doesn’t need a ring on her finger to feel secure. Don’t propose if you’re not a hundred-percent ready.”
I nodded with understanding. I was ready. I was sure I was ready. I was just so damn worried I was going to spook her. “Thanks.”
“Did you get her a ring?” he asked.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes. I bought it in New York. I designed it with a jeweler.”
He burst into laughter. “Why am I not surprised? Look, I know she’s going to say yes. You guys have had a whirlwind romance already. Why stop now?”
“True.”
We went back to painting when Ryder stopped again. “I’m not going to critique your ring, but I’m hoping you picked one that suits her. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she’s not like other women. She doesn’t care about carats and all that shit.”
“I know,” I said. “Trust me, the ring is perfect for her. It’s not big and gaudy. It’s not traditional.”
“Then it sounds perfect for her. I can’t wait to be surprised when she shows me.”
I laughed. “Thank you.”
Ryder refilled his paint tray, his brow furrowed with concern. “Penelope has to go back to New York,” he said, voicing the worry that had been gnawing at my heart.
“Yeah,” I said, sighing, my mind filled with thoughts of my sister. She needed to return to New York to take care of some important matters, but I knew she didn’t want to leave Oahu. She had fallen head over heels for Ryder, and their connection was undeniable. Unfortunately, Matthew was a prick and he was dragging her name through the mud. He was causing all kinds of drama that wouldn’t die down. Penelope had to go back and meet with the lawyers to try and put everything to rest. It was crazy how much power a scoundrel could have.
“I want to ask her to stay,” Ryder admitted, his voice tinged with longing. “But I don’t have anything to offer her. I’m just a broke surfer. Every penny I make goes into my surfboard and gear. I feel like such an idiot for not saving money. I’m twenty-seven and I don’t have anything but my clothes and my board. Pip is a woman used to the best things in life.”
“She is but look at me,” I said. “It’s not always all about the biggest houses or the best cars. You’re painting my house right now. If I can change, anyone can.”