Page 120 of Hopeless
I guess I’m all in on the petulance tonight.
“I didn’t ghost you. I went to work.”
“Right.” My lips press together, and I glare at him.
Beau sighs, broad chest rising and falling as he reaches back and grips his neck. “Look, I needed some time to wrap my head around things after last night.”
The urge to berate myself is overwhelming. I shouldn’t have told him I was hung up on him too. I’m sure I freaked him right the fuck out.
“So help me, if this is some moment where you decide to admire my virginity again, I will walk out that front door.”
“I’m not admiring it, Bailey. I’m telling you it means something to me. I’m telling you there are only so many firsts in your life before every day just turns into a blur of more of the same. I’m telling you that, whether or not you realize it, it might mean something to you one day. And I hate the thought of you living with any regrets.”
I gnaw at the inside of my cheek, feeling more childish and inexperienced by the second. Beau isn’t staring at me like I’m childish at all, though.
I can’t put my finger on what’s there in his gaze. All I know is I’m quite certain no person in my life has ever looked at me the way Beau is right now. My chest warms under the intensity in his eyes.
But he squashes that in its tracks.
“I think we should stop.”
Stop.
That’s what my heart does. Stops right in its tracks.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
My lungs no longer pump air as I stand in the too-quiet kitchen, staring at the too-handsome man before me.
“You’ve got a job now.”
I nod, but I don’t really hear his words. I keep repeating to myself:don’t let him see you cry.
“A secure one. You’ll be able to save up to get out of town, no problem.”
“Mm-hmm,” is all I can manage to choke out. I’m certain that if I open my mouth to say something, only a sob will come out.
Every word feels like he’s tearing away a piece of my heart I swore I wouldn’t give to him. I thought I hadn’t.
“ … so we can probably safely end this arrangement now.”
He was talking, and I wasn’t listening. It’s one of those moments where you know it’s happening, but it doesn’t seem real. Everything happens in slow motion.
I blink hard, forcing my lips into a smile that leans more toward a grimace. Beau is a nice guy. I don’t want to make him feel worse than he probably already does. I don’t want to be the naive girl who was foolish enough to believe in something that was never meant to be.
I’m so fucking hung up on you.
I shake the words away, filing them under “things men must say when they’ve had an amazing orgasm”.
“Yeah, of course.” My voice is watery, but I don’t think there’s any helping that.
Beau’s forehead crinkles in concern, and he unfolds one thick arm, reaching for me. When the tips of his fingers trace my hip bone, I recoil and step back.
He just dumped me. Fake dumped me?
Whatever the fuck you call this, I have enough self-respect to not want his hands on me.
In one smooth motion, I pull the diamond ring from my finger and drop it onto the marble between us. “No problem. Definitely don’t want to overstay my welcome. You take this—”
