Page 28 of Hopeless
Truthfully, I enjoy watching him react. He’s so … unaffected by me all the time. But when I ask questions likethat, I get a reaction. It’s like proof of life.
“Really?” He’s laughing at me now. And who could blame him? He must think I’m nuts.
“No, I just saw the video, and it got me thinking. It was funny. And you seem experienced, so I wanted to know. You could have told me it was personal if you didn’t want to answer.”
On a chuckle, he says, “Have you had anal sex, Bailey?”
I snort and tip my chin back down to meet his gaze. “I haven’t hadanysex, Beau.”
All the humor that laced his body moments ago drains away. I swear I watch it just—poof—evaporate.
“Any sex?” He looks incredulous.
“None. Big fat zero. Felt like I should lay that out on the table if we’re being honest with each other tonight.”
“How?” His eyes spark with interest. Not disgust or pity, just … disbelief. “Aren’t you twenty-two?”
“Yes, but I don’t know. I just don’t go anywhere. The opportunity hasn’t presented itself and I don’t want to tick it off like an item on a grocery list. And … who is there? In this town, it’s people who wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole or people who want to touch me just to say they did.”
I hold up a finger like I’m having anaha!moment. “In fact, that was the last bet I was unknowingly involved in. So, yeah, I need there to be a very clear plan so nothing gets confused.”
So my feelings don’t get hurt.
He stares at me for several beats, a glint of steel in his silver eyes. His jaw pops as his teeth grind, and I can’t help but notice the way his long fingers flex around his mug, like he’s envisioning strangling someone. “We’re not going to have sex, Bailey. That’s not the point of this arrangement.”
I’m slightly disappointed by the conviction with which he conveyed that message. But it also puts me at ease. Honestly, part of what kept me up last night was worrying about how far we’d have to take the act.
And how I’d keep from getting attached if we took it too far.
“Let’s just keep anything physical public. Does that work? Has anyone kissed you?”
I give him a droll look, offense flaring in my chest. “Just because I haven’t had sex doesn’t mean I’ve been living in a bubble,” I bite back. “I just haven’t found someone I want to go all the way with. But I want to.”
“Bailey.” He scrubs a hand over his face. “God. It’s like you have no filter around me at all.”
I chuckle and glance toward the plush sectional in the living room, envisioning us cuddling there. The weight of his body against mine. The way he might roll me under him and—
The sound of him swallowing is what hits me first. Then him taking a sip of tea. When I finally glance back at him, I can see the amusement swirling in his eyes.
“Shut up.”
His lips press together, barely containing the laughter that threatens to spill from him. “I didn’t say anything.”
I wave a hand over him, my cheeks tugging up as I do. “You might as well have. You say my name like it’s a bad word. Or like I exhaust you.”
“You’re entertaining, Bailey. Possibly even funny. You don’t exhaust me. You invigorate me.”
“Gee, thanks. Now I feel really fucking young.”
He ignores my jab and forges ahead. “Okay, so if you meet this person who you really want to have sex with, you’re going to tell me. And we’ll break it off.”
My eyes close. “I hate this conversation passionately.”
He laughs now. It’s deep and warm and makes me wonder how I’ll ever find someone else I want to have sex with when I’m spending all my time with Beau Eaton.
When my lashes flutter open, I pin him with my glare. “Same for you. If you meet someone who you actually like, you’ll tell me.”
“That won’t happen. But fine.”
