Page 36 of Hopeless
She snorts a laugh to cover for the way she’s cuddling into the shelter of my arm. She can’t be cold, but there’s something desperate in the way she presses herself against me. “Okay. Fine. Is this practice?”
Practice.
One simple word shouldn’t make me hard. But somehowpracticedoes it. It fills my head with many things that Bailey and I could practice. The things I could show her.
“Yeah, Baby Doll. It’s practice.”
Silence descends between us. Tension builds.
And then, “Hey, Beau?”
“Yeah?”
“Not that one, either.”
I laugh. And then we don’t talk. We don’t need to.
We sit on the riverbank, side by side. Both of us practicing being okay with not being okay—together.
9
Bailey
Lance:Where you at? Come have a drink.
Aaron:Yeah, we came looking for you, but you weren’t home.
Iwake up held tight against something hot and hard. I rub my cheek against cotton, wanting to nuzzle back into one of the best sleeps of my life. A soft breeze fans over my cheek, and before long, I realize my pillow has … a heartbeat.
I freeze as my eyes snap open. The early morning sky has taken on a pale blue hue, and I realize that mine and Beau’s “practice” lasted all night long.
We’re clinging to each other. My cheek against his heart as he curls himself around me. Top arm caging me in like a shield.
I might as well be a teddy bear getting snuggled by the hottest super soldier of all time.
Correction:my fiancé.
My chin dips down, and I turn carefully in his arms, reveling in the heat of him against my back as I stare down at the diamond adorning my ring finger. It’s too much. It’s way too fucking much. Not only does it not belong on a girl like me, but it’s further proof that Beau doesn’t understand the way my world operates.
Nice shit gets stolen. End of story.
I don’t get nice shit. I wasn’t made for it. And it wasn’t made for me.
As soon as I’m done basking in the feeling of being held, I’ll tell him. I’ll force him to take the ring back. I’ll sit him down and make him understand that although we have an agreement, there is still a line in the sand between us.
One where—
He shifts, smacking his lips in an almost child-like way as his top leg hooks over me and pulls me closer while he …
Grinds his massive morning wood into me.
Now I really freeze on the spot.
A real man is pushing a real boner intome.
I’ve thought about this nonstop. What I’d do. How it would feel.
I’vedreamedabout this.
