Page 72 of Hopeless
“I’d like that.”
20
Bailey
Bailey:See you at two, soldier.
Beau:See you at two, sugar tits.
My knuckles rap against the door. “Another night, another swim. Let’s go, soldier!”
This is our new normal. Every night, I set my alarm for 2:00 a.m. and come to wake him. And every time Beau yanks the door open, my breath comes to a screeching halt in my lungs.
Like now.
Big, golden, dopey. I want nothing more than to push him back into his room and crawl on top of him like we did a week ago. I want his big, warm palm sliding down my back and gripping my ass, but we seem to have mostly moved past that.
Or maybe just Beau has. Me? I still obsess.
I try to cover for the way I’m ogling all eight of his abs by snapping, “You know you could set your own alarm, right?”
He follows me out, and I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, “But I prefer to be woken up by you.”
I roll my eyes, in frustration. I try to be nice to Beau, a confidante, a support to him, and honestly, it feels like I really am his fiancée in all the ways except the sex way.
The further we get from that night without him addressing it, or touching me, or flirting with me, the more it feels like it never happened.
We swim, and some nights we talk a lot.
Tonight, we don’t. I don’t know if it’s because we’re both beyond tired or if something has shifted between us.
“You’re quiet tonight,” he says as we slip naked into the water.
I suppose by now we could start wearing swimsuits, but we don’t. I don’t even feel like I’m being a creep now when I stare at his body.
In fact, I stare longer. So does he. Neither of us seems to be uncomfortable with the staring. I don’t know if it’s because he likes what he sees or doesn’t particularly care about what he sees.
And I’m too chickenshit to ask.
“So are you,” I reply, pushing out to the deepest point of the river where I can’t touch. This is where I force my legs to cycle and work so that when I get back to the house, I’m tired enough to crash back out.
“Been thinking,” Beau replies.
“Thinking is exhausting.” I chuckle softly, feeling the swell and pull of water as he moves close to me.
Super close.
So close our knees bump.
“It is. I went back to it lately. After our swims. I imagine all the things I could do and how I’ll handle it. How I’ll tell my family.”
I watch him, nodding slowly. He’s been more reliable around the ranch, helping Cade and his dad. I guess that bit of unfiltered tough love did him some good after all.
“Part of what wakes me up is the sensation of my feet burning. I scorched them when I walked through that fire to get back through the tunnels. They were so mangled, so infected that I was sure the infection would kill me. I may have saved Micah, but in the days that followed, when we holed up in that cave? He took care of me.”
“You ever talk to him?”
Beau nods. “Yeah, we email now and then. I think I’d like to visit him sometime.”
