Page 169 of Really Truly Yours

A series of blinks take over my eyes. Kind of in my face, isn’t it? “No, I will not, because after today, you and I won’t be in the same places.”

The old cockiness springs from hibernation. He stretches his arm along the top of the bench into my space. “Sure we will. Why? Because you and I are meant to be, baby. Trust me, you’ll be around, and, that being the case, you need to know that Alyssa is the wife of an old buddy, and a friend in her own right.”

“And your buddy is okay with your relationship?”

He chuckles. “He has to be, although I assure you, the behavior in question is not as bad as it may have looked. His wife is quite expressive, so she’ll probably kiss my cheek once in a while when we all get together, for double dates, games, and what have you. But I promise you, it won’t mean anything. Never has and never will. She and Chase are as silly in love as you and I are.”

I gawk. “Who says I’m in love.”

His chin moves into an annoying, cockeyed slant.

I spring up and stare down. “Don’t look at me like that, Gray Smith! I am not in love!”

“Tell you what.” His fingers find mine, shooting fire up my arm and into my chest. “I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you come back onto this bench with me. I’ll kiss you, and then you can look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.”

I jerk my hand free. “No.”

“Why not, Sydnee Lou? Don’t think you can do it?”

I chastise him with a hefty glare. “You stink at this no pressure thing, you know that? You’re a manipulator, Gray Smith.”

The words flare panic like a wildfire across his face. He cringes. “You’re right. I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”

Oh, brother. He doesn’t have to look so sad, puppy-eyes contrite. I might as well have accused him of being the perpetrator on a whodunnit show.

“I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry, Sydnee, really.”

I am so close to losing myself in his eyes. Of doing whatever it takes to see joy there again, back where it belongs. Truly, that’s one of his greatest assets. His ability to be happy even in difficult circumstances. Sure, he had a rough time when I told him about Donny, but he worked through it, and I began to see the real man. And I…I could use a serving of his zest for life.

Which does nothing to change the fact that women stream through Gray’s life like a parade—and I can’t compete.

“Give me one more chance, Sydnee. I’ll explain better this time.” He pats the bench.

I sit far enough away that I can think halfway clearly.

“I’m telling the truth about Alyssa. I was best man in hers and Chase’s wedding. Last night she was telling me how ecstatic they are to be expecting their first baby. That’s it. Look them up online. There are wedding photos with me in them, and I—”

I shake my head, stopping him with a raised hand. “I believe you, Gray.”

His relief melts me.

He sighs. “As for the other women last night, I don’t know what to tell you. It happens. Yes, I can probably do better in the future keeping my distance, but I also can’t promise they won’t do their best to get in my space. What I can promise you is that I don’t care about them.”

“You used to.”

Zing. I see I’ve hit the mark.

“You’ve seen stuff online, huh?”

About his exploits with one beautiful woman after another? “I wasn’t stalking you or anything. It just…with Donny, you know. He kept up on you.”

Shoulders drawn, Gray gazes into the slate sky. “What can I say? I went against what I was taught and believed. I can’t take it back. I would regret every last minute of that season of my life but for the fact my faith reemerged stronger.”

I look at my hands. He looks at me.

“But you’re saying, because of those mistakes, you’ll never trust me?”

My hands knot. They’re a young person’s hands even though I so often feel old. Maintaining defenses and keeping up guards is exhausting. I never realized how exhausting until Gray came along. I’ve wanted to let down. I’ve wanted to believe.

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