Page 43 of Friends with Benefits

‘This is possibly the worst thing we’ve ever heard!’

I open my eyes and look at the upstairs window of the house to find the source of those words. Sarah, Izzy, Becky and Jess are leaning out of one of the bedroom windows.

‘Get your ass down here,’ Brooks shouts.

We next see them as they come onto the deck, all in some variation of lounge wear. Jess is still in her tiny denim shorts but now she has one of my hoodies on, drowning her slim frame.

‘Can I smell weed?’ Sarah asks, standing in bed shorts and furry booties, her hands on her hips.

‘It’s even harder than usual to take you seriously,’ I tell her from the ground beneath her.

‘Shut up, you. And you!’ She points to Drew. ‘Pass that thing over here.’ Sarah pulls on the joint and starts passing it around.

Becky and Izzy refuse but Jess holds out her hand. ‘Hell yes. I haven’t smoked weed since… ha, since I got ditched at the altar.’

She sits on the decking next to me, her legs crossed beneath her. Her bare thigh is too much temptation. As I take her in, her long, soft hair, my clothes on her, I rest a hand on her thigh.

Jess exhales. I don’t know what it is about her leaning back, the skin of her neck stretched taut as she blows out smoke, that is unbelievably sexy. The ultimate temptation. Jesus, as if I wasn’t horny enough earlier.

‘No way,’ Sarah says. ‘You were ditched at the altar?’

Jess nods. ‘Yep. I was already in the dress, my hair was done. My aunt and I were waiting for my uncle to come get me. My uncle knocked on my bedroom door but as soon as I opened it, I knew something wasn’t right. He looked at me like…’

She shakes her head and I tighten my grip on her thigh. She never talks about this. I know she’ll be reliving it and hurting. I know she’s never gotten over it. This, her parents, it’s all part of the cage she’s built around her heart.

‘He had this look, like he thought he was about to break my heart. He stepped into the room and instead of linking my arm through his and leading me toward my husband-to-be, he pulled me into his chest and said, “Jess, my gorgeous girl, one day there’s going to be a man who deserves all of you.” And I never saw my fiancé again.’

Everything stops. Brooks even stops playing. Then Sarah stands up and hands Jess the joint again. ‘Here, you need this more than I do.’

Jess laughs.

‘It was my fault really. I knew I wasn’t… that I could never… ah, never mind.’

‘Good fucking riddance,’ Sarah adds, making Jess’s body shudder with humor again.

‘Thanks, Sarah.’

‘So, he drove you to weed, huh?’

‘Possibly,’ Jess says, studying the joint. ‘It might have been my aunt who gave me the idea. She smoked medicinally.’

‘Oh, gosh, Jess, that’s awful,’ Sarah says. ‘What was wrong with her?’

‘She was addicted to weed.’

Even though I know Jess well enough to appreciate she was covering her hurt with humor, she has us all guffawing. Brooks starts playing again, something cheerier this time. I sit up enough to pull Jess down to the ground, so she’s lying on my chest. I press my lips to her head.

‘He must have been fucking crazy,’ I tell her. ‘If I ever got you in a white dress, I’d be there at the altar and every other day for the rest of my life.’

I’m trying to comfort her; she’ll know it. But as I lie here, stroking her hair, feeling her press against me, I mean every single word. Any man would be lucky to have Jess. She’s been through so much, and I don’t know a stronger, more independent woman, even if she has had to build walls to protect herself. I swallow the lump that forms in my throat at the thought of any other man managing to break down those walls. Do the thing I haven’t been able to do.

Before I can consider how hard I’ve really tried, Izzy and Becky start to shout about The Beatles and Brooks starts to play ‘Let it Be.’

I pin Jess to my chest as we all get stoned and sing into the darkness of the early morning.

12

JESS

---