Page 78 of Friends with Benefits

‘I was joking, Marty. Christ!’

For some reason, we both find it hilarious. Seemingly, so does everyone else – or they’re all just high on life, too – because they all run and bomb into the pool.

I find Jess, fully clothed among the others, and lift her by the waist, raising her up out of the pool. When I bring her down, she presses her lips to mine, wraps her arms around my neck, and I take us both under the water.

22

JESS

I can hear voices as people start to arrive downstairs for Drew and Becky’s engagement party. Though Jake and I intended to keep our engagement quiet, Drew and Becky insisted the party be a joint celebration. Fortunately, I brought a fancy dress with me. It’s a piece from my new collection, different from my usual Asian style. It was actually inspired by Jake. I wanted to move away from always designing with an Asian feel. There’s more in my life now than Asia and this dress reflects that.

Jake always has this kind of glint in his eye when I wear things off one shoulder, even my oversized shirts. So, I designed one slim shoulder strap. I made a bodice with structure but covered in black chiffon, giving a lighter appearance. The bones in the top are my roots. The layers of soft pink chiffon that flow from the true waist is the wind through my leaves.

I stare at the dress hanging on the wardrobe door as I sit on the bed in my lingerie. I’m engaged. I’m engaged to be married to Jake Harrington. I’ve promised to be his forever. I wait for panic to rise in my chest and to grip my lungs. I wait and wait but it doesn’t come.

I glance down at my hands in my lap and realize I am gripping my beautiful ring from Tiffany’s. I chose one single, brilliant-cut diamond on a thin, platinum band. Who’d have thought I’d have picked something so simple? But as I stood at the counter in Tiffany’s, with Jake pointing out detailed designs he thought I might like, I had a new thought. How nice it would be if life were simple.

I can’t do anything to make sure life isn’t turbulent, that it doesn’t throw things at me I don’t want to happen. But Jake somehow makes me want to stop running. I guess I knew that each time I signed another lease extension to stay with him. And when I saw him in Central Park, waiting for me in the rain, I knew I had desperately wanted him to come and find me. To root me.

I take a breath and stand. Time to put on the dress and face Jake’s family.

I’m going to have a family.

A soft rap on the door steals my attention. ‘Jess? It’s Sarah.’

‘Oh, erm, I’m in lingerie but you can come in.’

She steps inside and her lips break into one of her incredible smiles. ‘You look stunning, Jess.’

‘I hope you’re referring to my hair and makeup because this isn’t what I’m planning to wear.’

She chuckles as she comes over to me. ‘Yes, I mean your hair and makeup. Jake sent me to check on you. He said you might be overthinking a few things.’

‘Well, he was probably right, but I’m fine. You look gorgeous, Sarah.’ I gesture to her structured, powder-blue dress. Her hair, like mine, is curled and across one shoulder.

She waves a hand flippantly. ‘This old thing? Can I help you into your dress? Is this it? I love it!’

‘Thank you. It’s one of mine. Jake hasn’t seen it before. It’s not my usual.’

‘I think you’re going to knock him dead. He’s a real good man, you know. And he adores you.’

I try to fight my smile but it grows until my cheeks ache. ‘Well, the feeling is mutual.’

She helps me into my dress. I slip my mum’s pearls into my ears and around my wrist, choosing to go bare at the neck.

I add the finishing touch of a soft pink lipstick and Sarah and I look at each other in the mirror.

‘Sarah, would it be weird if I said I’m pleased that Jake comes with you all as a package deal?’

She puts her arm around my shoulder. ‘Not at all. We’ve sucked you in now and we won’t let you go. And you remember what I said to you in the bar the other night. No one can promise to live forever, I know that too well. My husband was taken too young. But we can promise to love forever. Jake will love you forever, Jess. And so will we. If your worst fears came true, we would all be here. Neither you, nor Jake, would ever be alone. I can tell you that with certainty.’

I take a deep breath in the hope it will stop my clouded eyes from crying tears. ‘I can’t tell you how much… how much that…’

Sarah smiles as I hold my hand to my throat where the words are stuck. ‘I know, Jess. We all do. I’ll give you a minute.’

She heads downstairs and I move to the window, watching the last light of the day disappear into the ocean.

‘Goodnight, Mum. Sweet dreams, Dad.’ I silently thank them. They gave me my greatest fear, but they also showed me the greatest love of all. And they gave me the strength to take Jake’s hand and dive in to something special.

---