Page 79 of Friends with Benefits

I tried for years to run from my fear. I accept now that just because I ran from it, that didn’t mean it wouldn’t exist any more. And I realize fear is the thing that makes me appreciate how truly special the love my parents shared was, and how truly special the way I feel about Jake is.

With their strength, I go in search of the man I love. As I head down the stairs, I hear his laughter, that big, bellowing laugh, from outside.

I search him out and he meets my eyes, watching me as I take each step through the house and out to meet him. He looks incredible. His hair in that intentionally messy style he wears, his scruffy jaw, his blue eyes shining. His black shirt highlights his strong features and shows off the tan he’s acquired over the last few days. The shirt’s tucked into trousers that hug those toned hips I love to wrap my hands around. Yep, I shamelessly ogle my fiancé.

He lifts his hand to his chest as I move closer to him and that knicker-melting half smile tugs on his lips.

‘Twelve,’ he says when I reach him. It takes me a second to understand. ‘You’re a twelve. You’ve always been a twelve.’

The way he looks at me, like he’s looking at something precious for the first time, I know he means it.

‘I’m not mediocre?’ I say with a giggle.

He lifts his hand to my cheek in that way he does, the way that liquefies me and tells me I’m safe all at once.

‘You’ve never been mediocre.’

He presses his lips to mine and I can’t resist slipping my tongue out to get a little of that distinctly Jake taste I love. If I could bottle his scent or design him in a new line of clothes, I would call it that: Distinctly Jake.

‘Don’t mind us.’

I remember where we are and pull away from Jake, subtly rubbing my lips and tucking myself into his side.

‘Jess, you finally get to meet my much older sister, Millie in real life.’

Millie playfully slaps Jake in the chest before pulling me into a hug. ‘So, you’re the surprise sister, huh? Jake always did like to steal the stage.’

‘Oh, gosh, we truly didn’t mean to. It was—’

‘Relax, babe. Millie is just being a dick.’

‘I know you did not call your sister a name for man business.’ Jake’s mother, who I also recognize from Skype, spins into the little circle we’re forming. ‘Jess.’

She opens her arms and I step into them. Her hold is tight and warm and incredibly homey. Would it make sense if I described her as a real mum? I can’t explain it better than that. She reminds me of my mum. Yes, a real mum.

‘Welcome to the family, darling. I knew this was going to happen from the first time I saw him pull you onto his knee during our Sky time.’

‘Enough, Mom, stop embarrassing me and let her go.’ Jake pulls us apart but his mum grabs his cheeks and shakes them. It’s cute as heck. ‘And for the record, it’s Skype. You don’t Sky call.’

‘Do not sass me, Jake. You’re not too old to spank.’

‘Christ.’

We circulate until we’ve met everyone. Jake’s parents. His sister and her husband. Aunt Kathleen, Uncle Geoffrey, Aunt Nellie and Uncle Jack.

Staff from the catering company Drew has hired move around serving substantial canapes and making sure champagne flows. When the sky falls dark, the deck is lit by the usual lighting but also a mass of tea lights placed in the trees and woven through the trellis. It matches the sky, which is clear and full of stars. A little something I think two special people may have made happen for us, wherever they are.

An acoustic band plays at one side of the pool and the deck of the other side is used as a dance area. Aunt Kathleen and Uncle Geoffrey lead the way, dancing in each other’s arms. I lean on the deck rail and watch them, my heart almost full to bursting. Some people do manage to stay in love and grow old together. Hopefully, Jake and I will be so lucky. Just in case, I make a promise to myself, in this moment, that I will live each day grateful for every second we get to share in love together.

As I have that thought, two muscular arms wrap around my waist and Jake’s chin comes to rest on my shoulder. ‘I love you.’

‘I don’t think I’ll get used to or tired of you saying that to me.’

He kisses my cheek. ‘Good, because I keep finding the urge to say it.’

‘Jake, it’s time. Let’s do this,’ Brooks says, dropping his hands to Jake’s shoulders.

‘Sorry, fiancée, I have to leave you for a few minutes. You might want to make your way down to the dance floor.’

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