The way Kornelius looks at me breaks my heart. I can’t tell him that I empathize and that I forgive him for what he did.
I understand it.
He won’t believe me. And if I’ve learned anything from my brief interaction with Jewel, it’s how powerful belief can be.
For better or for worse, belief makes dreams—or nightmares—come true.
Despite all that, bloodlust is a nearly uncontrollable state. The only reason Zy didn’t rip me open was because he was already inside of me, taking out his need through sex. Not to mention the curse Jewel had put on me had probably set off my mates in the first place rather than any severe lack of control on their part.
Tasting Zy’s blood had begun a process she’d put in place long ago, whether or not she realized it. I’ve read enough about how magic works to understand it could have been an unconscious move on her part.
My working theory was that Jewel wanted to be free of the death plane, so she had willed a path where that possibility could happen. By planting her will inside the blood of the triplets her magic had helped create, she had planted the seed to call me to her side to set her free.
And it had worked. The moment I’d tasted Zy’s essence, bloodlust had hit me just as it would have a vampire.
And I’d enjoyed it until they’d gone too far.
Even uttering the safe word we had established hadn’t done much good. It was mymagicthat stopped them.
I had kept it as a safe word, though. When I’d screamed my sister’s name, I hadn’t opened the mental channel to her. She was probably going crazy with worry, but I would talk to her soon.
Once my mates realize that theycancontrol themselves, if given the tools.
“Come to me,” I order them. Now that Jasper is gone, pain returns to my senses and I need death magic to battle it.
I’m also figuring that one out based on some of the journals Ayla has let me read. Amala is a death witch just like me. She’s learned how to manipulate the spirit and the magic within it to heal the flesh.
It seems that I can do the same, but I need more practice.
More power.
Zy is the first to respond. He approaches the bed but doesn’t climb onto it. My weakened state reflects in his glasses, making nausea wind through my stomach.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks.
“Very,” I respond without hesitation. I know things they don’t, but words won’t convey the truth to them. I don’t want to be weak anymore, and even if they don’t see it, I know how to be strong.
But I can’t simply tell them how this works. Only a few scholars can read words on a page and learn the world’s secrets. Most have to experience truth for themselves to fully understand it.
“We almost killed you,” Kornelius says. The emotion in his voice betrays how affected he is by all this. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I did. You shouldn’t either.”
Zy nods in agreement. “I… I disrespected the safe word we established. Don’t you know the punishment for that? Death.”
I’m not sure who decided that rule. Perhaps it was a punishment that fit the crime, but this wasn’t a black-and-white situation.
Sighing, I wince with the effort it takes to stay conscious. “Listen, if you two don’t touch me right now, I’m going to pass out. Sohelp me.”
That seems to force their hands. Zy’s jaw flexes before he climbs over the mattress and places his palm on my thigh. I relax as the screams fade into silence.
Kornelius does the same and gently holds my fingers.
It’s not how I want them to touch me. The desire riding me to experience my fated mates to the fullest is still strong.
Perhaps it’ll never go away.
I hope it doesn’t.
Relief rushes through me as the first wave of magic comes, but it’s faint compared to Jasper’s power. “I need you to use your strengths, not just your touch,” I clarify. “Jasper’s gift is his death touch, so touch alone transfers his magic.” I turn to Zy. “Yours lies in your beautiful eyes. Take off your glasses and give me what I need, Zy.”