Page 82 of Just Best Friends

His eyes softened. "I'm serious, Thea."

"I'm a little offended you're able to be serious while I'm naked," I teased.

"Just us. You and me. No one else while you're deciding whether we should be together."

"You think I'd sleep with someone else?" I asked, more than a little hurt and not sure I had any right to be. I'd as much as told him I wasn't ready to date him. What else could it mean than I wanted to keep my options open? "You, Benny, only you."

The tension in his shoulders ebbed and his face relaxed. "Good."

His hands snaked up my hips, over my waist. He cupped my breasts, sitting up to kiss my throat. I tilted my head back, closing my eyes as his fingers grazed over my nipples, his palms cupping my breasts as his lips caressed my neck. I reached down, slipping my hand past the waistband of his shorts and gripping his dick in my hand.

"You think I'd share you with anyone else?" I whispered in his ear.

Leaning over toward the side table, I fished out a condom, rolling it onto him and discarding the wrapper on the floor.

I wanted to give him everything he wanted. I wanted to say that we could be together. I wanted to say that he was my birthday wish. But even as the words bounced around my head, I couldn't make them come out.

With Chase, I'd had nothing to lose. He could have just as easily been any other guy. A guy I got along well enough with. A guy I shared interests with. A guy who might be a father and a husband. Nothing concrete. Nothing permanent. An idea.

Benny wasn't an idea. He wasn't anyone. I couldn't imagine life without him. That made saying yes to being with him too scary to say aloud. What if we broke up? What would his parents say? What would our friends do? All of my relationships had been at an arm's length. We kept our own friends, our own homes, our separate lives, we were entwined.

And he would wait.

Or at least, wait for me to say the words. In an instant, his patience grown thin by my glacial pace, he gripped my waist, rolling me onto the bed. With one knee, he nudged my legs apart, sinking into me. I groaned, hips lifting to meet his. How did he make it feel this good?

I gripped the back of his neck, capturing his lips in a searing kiss that I hoped dispelled his anxiety. He thrust into me, stars forming behind my eyes and body pulsating with need. Need to be near him. Need to be with him.

* * *

“I’m really going to need you to back up, Thea.” Millie’s forehead creased as she craned forward in her seat at the noisy coffeeshop. “You took him to a singles event? Why?”

I shrugged, waiting for the coffee grinder to finish running. “Because I’m a moron? I’m scared? I’m in over my head?”

She laughed. “Over your head? Please. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in over your head.”

I pitched forward. “He said we’re meant for each other.”

“Aw.” Her mouth dropped and her brown eyes turned soft. “That’s so sweet.”

“It’s not sweet, it’s terrifying. Especially since everything feels like it’s completely off the rails: I sold the shop, Ben and I are…doing whatever we’re doing, and I haven’t felt good in forever.”

Millie’s eyes narrowed. “Haven’t felt good? How so?”

“I don’t know. Nauseous and tired. I thought I was getting the flu, but it never got worse. I should probably go to a doctor, but I keep thinking once the shop is sold, I’ll get better.”

Her eyes darted down, concern etched on her face. “Do you think maybe you might be—”

I held up a hand, cutting off the last word. “No. That’s insane.”

I pressed my palm to my stomach. “I’m on birth control and we always use a…”

No, we didn’t always use a condom. We hadn’t, once.

Millie shrugged. “I don’t want to speculate, but you’re looking a little breast-y lately.”

I brushed the underside of my chest, wincing slightly at a dull ache in response to the pressure. I had noticed that, of course, but I’d also been eating out a ton and doing next to nothing outside of having sex.

“No.” I shook my head. “That’s winter weight gain. I’m just hibernating.”

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