Page 50 of Wild Pucker

The Blue and White Bachelorette Blog

Good Morning, BWB fans. Last night's date was definitely swoon-worthy. It's not every day your childhood crush, who also happens to be your big brother's BFF, tells you he wants to face his biggest fear with you.

Chase Wilder, you are a smooth operator. I think all our followers agree, your date was a BOSS MOVE! And ordering everything on the menu was especially delicious.

Well played, Mr. Wilder. Well played.

I had a wonderful night with Chase, and despite rumours spread by my unreliable roommate, who thinks she's hilarious, Chase was a perfect gentleman when he dropped me off at home. Solo.

Mr. McCrae, you've officially been put on notice. I'm expecting skydiving, ballroom dancing lessons, or meeting a celebrity.

No pressure, though!

I can't wait to see what you have planned next to sweep me off my feet!

XOXO

Lily Valentine

I'm dreading this conversation with Samuel.

The team is opening their season on the road, and we have our second date this week. We're also working together this afternoon. Now that the team's roster is finalized, Sam and I need to complete meal plans and dietary requirements for the players. And with the guys away for three days, it gives us the time to do just that.

Unfortunately for me, since Chase is gone with the team, I'll be sexually frustrated for three days. But it gives me time to get creative and think of ways to help him work through his aversion to female touch. I don't want to pressure him or make him uncomfortable. Getting him to admit he was sexually assaulted was a huge step, but he still thinks it was somehow his fault. And I have a sneaking suspicion he believes it makes him less of a man. I need to help acclimate him to my touch, which is no chore. Someday, Chase will love being touched by me, but the rest of the female population can continue to be hands-off.

Before he left, I made a casual suggestion that he talk to someone. It doesn't have to be the team doctor, but I think he should at least consider speaking to a professional. As much as I want to help him heal, I don't have all the tools and skills that a therapist has.

"When you break a leg and need to rehab it, do you do it all yourself?" I pointed out this morning. "It doesn't make you less of a man to ask for help, Chase. If anything, it makes you more of one. Admitting you need help, or that you need someone to talk to, is a very courageous thing."

He promised to consider it and then kissed me until my toes curled before he had to leave to catch his plane to New York. Toronto is playing tonight and then travelling to Carolina before coming home.

I open the door to my office, my eyes immediately straying to the loveseat where Chase and I got frisky. I blush and shake my head to clear my thoughts. I came into work early to mentally prepare myself for the very awkward talk I need to have with Sam, not fantasize about Chase's mouth all over my body. I promised to give Sam a chance. A fair shot. But, if I am honest with myself, this entire fiasco was never fair because I've always been in love with Chase.

I feel guilty. I feel so damn guilty it's eating a hole in my stomach. Sam is a perfect man. He's just not perfect for me.

I plop down in my chair, huffing out a breath between my hands that cover my face.

"Rough morning?" Sam's lightly accented voice calls into my office, causing me to jump up like I've been electrocuted by the sound. He's the picture of calm, cool masculinity, leaning against my doorframe in light khakis and a navy polo.

"Sam! I wasn't expecting you this early."

"I wanted to get a head start on the nutrition manuals we're creating for the players."

"Right," I say and randomly straighten items on my desk.

"Looked like you had a good date with Chase last night." Sam strolls into my office and sits himself down on the loveseat. He'd hate me if he knew what I did in the exact spot he's sitting. I feel like he's going to end up hating me regardless.

"I did."

"I guess I need to up my game." His smile is so hopeful that my gut clenches. "I don't know about skydiving, but I'll try to think of something."

I smile weakly before rounding my desk and sitting down next to him. I don't know what to do with my hands, so I fold them in my lap. But when I anxiously start wringing them together, I sit on them.

I hate this entire situation.The Blue and White Bacheloretteis a shit show, from the videos to the damned diary blog I'm forced to write. It's more fiction than anything else, and nothing even close to what my honest diary confession would look like.

"We need to talk," I blurt out and mentally slap myself for literally saying the preface to every breakup. Ever.

Sam takes a deep breath and smiles. When I look him in the eyes, I know. He knows.

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