Page 109 of Tristano

“I did what I had to do.”

“No, you did what you wanted to do. My feelings be damned.” He shakes his head. “You took an unnecessary risk.”

“If they would have opened that train car and found it empty, they would have known something was wrong before we could have grabbed them. We needed to buy some time for the guys to get there before they slipped away.”

“Oh bullshit,” he snaps. “That place was surrounded. You just wanted to be in the middle of it.”

“Exactly, I wasn’t alone! I had backup. I was safe the entire time.”

He pushes off the counter, eyes wide. “You think that’s reason enough? Come on, Serena! You put yourself in danger. Into a situation you have lived through. Did you even think about how I would feel when I heard about it? Or what about what would have happened if you froze, remembering what you went through?”

All my anger flows out of me. I look at him and frown. Maybe this isn’t going to work.

“Tris, this is me. This is what I’m passionate about. If you can’t accept that, then maybe we aren’t right for each other.” I say the words softly, my own heart breaking a little at the admission.

He lets out a breath, rubbing his hand on his face. “No, Serena. No, that’s not it. We belong together. You are the other half of my soul. I feel that with every fiber of my being.” He sighs. “I know that you are trained to work undercover. I know you can handle yourself out there. That’s why I didn’t say anything about you going out with Killian to those meetings or going out searching with Killian’s men. In my head, I know this, but you didn’t even talk to me about it first. I had no idea what was happening until it was already happening. All of a sudden I went from thinking you were safe and sound to knowing you were chained to a fucking train car in the dark all by yourself. Do you know what that did to me?”

He’s right. I thought about him being mad, but I didn’t consider why it would anger him.

“Would you have let me do it if I had told you about it, or would you have called Killian and Bash to have them order their men to stand down?”

He swallows hard, his eyes red and glassy. “I would have said no…”

“See. That’s what I mean.”

“Anima gemella, let me finish. I would have said no at first. Any man as crazy in love as I am would do the same. I never want to think about you being in danger. If I could, I would put you in a bubble to ensure nothing ever happened to you. I know that’s not reality though. So while at first I would have told you no, you would have shown me that tenacious spirit you have which would have convinced me that you had it. You didn’t give me the opportunity though. You went behind my back and did it without even a discussion. In a precarious situation, I can see you doing that, but you had time to call.”

That’s the crux of it. I did have time to call, but I chose not to because I was worried he would be like my uncle and take the decision away from me. He’s not my uncle though. He never has been.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I was being selfish. It’s going to take time to remember that you aren’t like the other men in my life. You support me when they would have smothered me.”

He reaches out and pulls me into him, kissing the top of my head. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

“Did I fuck this up?” I ask as I clench my fists, trying to stop myself from reaching back out to him.

“That’s the thing, Serena, no matter what you do, you can’t fuck this up.” He shakes his head. “You’re stuck with me.”

Finally, I wrap myself around him. “Everyone I have ever loved ends up leaving me one way or another.”

“Not me,anima gemella.Even when the Lord takes our souls, I’ll still be tethered to you.”

I soak in his love as he holds me.

“I love you, Tris.”

“I love you more than any man has ever loved a woman, Serena. You are my whole world.”

I let one small teardrop fall as I hear his words, as my heart starts to put itself back together.

This feels a lot like healing.

* * *

“Morning…”

I look over my shoulder and see Serena standing at the edge of the kitchen, looking unsure if she should enter or not.

After last night, we took a shower together then went to bed. I held her to me all night as nightmares of losing her kept sleep at bay.

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