Page 38 of Tristano

I don’t know how long I stay under, but I start to become light-headed. Before I can come up for air, I feel hands grabbing me, pulling me up. I gasp too soon and suck in a bunch of water.

“What the fuck were you doing?” Tristano hisses as he hits my back as I cough up water.

“What the fuck, Tris?” I say between coughs.

“What the fuck is right, Serena. Were you trying to kill yourself?”

I look over at him and see the fear in his eyes.

Oh shit.

I can see how that might look like I was committing suicide. Especially after what I just went through. Add to that, he knows my past too.

“No.” I shake my head as I reach out, grabbing his arm. “No, I promise. I would never.”

I mean it too. I have way too much to live for. No matter what life throws at me, I will always fight until the very end. I would never voluntarily give up the ability to breathe.

“You were under there so long you didn’t even notice when I came in,” he says as he rests back on his haunches as he kneels next to the tub.

“I’m so sorry, Tris.” I stumble out of the tub into his lap. “It all became too much. I needed a minute of complete silence, and that was the only way I could get it.”

I watch as hurt flashes through his eyes before he shoves it down. “I see.”

“It’s not you. It’s my thoughts. Everything that happened.”

His Adam’s apple bobs. “I know.” He clears his throat. “I came in here to tell you that the food is here.”

“Already?”

“Yeah, you’ve been in here for about forty-five minutes.”

“Oh.” I hadn’t even realized it had been that long.

Tristano pushes me forward until I’m sitting on the floor before he stands. He holds his hand out for me to grab as he helps me stand next to him. Then he turns, grabbing a towel.

As he does that, I turn back to the bath to unplug the drain. I hear a choking sound, making me look back.

Tristano is staring at my ass, a look of surprise on his face.

“Sorry.” He coughs, closes his eyes, and holds out the towel. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

I grab the towel, smiling to myself. I should feel violated having him look at me, but I don’t. Seeing the look on his face made me feel desired. Wanted. Like maybe I’m more than the situations that have happened to me.

I’m still a woman.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

I can’t help but watch him as he walks away. Shaking my head, I dry off and grab one of the robes off the back of the door. Slipping it on, I tie it around my waist. With my hair wet, hanging down around my shoulders, I leave the bathroom.

As soon as I step into the living room, I see Tristano sitting on the couch. He’s leaning forward with his head resting in his hands. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever seen him look so down.

One of the things I love about Tristano Ferrari is that he’s so full of life, and right now his spark is missing.

“Hey…” I say hesitantly as I step into the room.

He looks over his shoulder and offers me a small smile. “Hey, come here and eat.”

I watch as he places a pillow on the floor between his legs, in front of the table.

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