“What were you saying, baby?”
“I said I have a new art teacher today. Do you think she will like me?”
“Who wouldn’t like you, Billy Anne?” Billy Anne was the most lovable kid on this planet, even though she was a little high-maintenance at times. And I wasn’t just saying that because she was my kid.
“What if she’s mean?”
“You tell me if she’s mean to you, and I’ll kick her butt.” This earned a giggle from Billy Anne, and just hearing her laugh eased up my burdens a little bit. But when I looked at her from my rearview mirror and spotted her eyes, the burden was back.
It was a fact that I had neglected Sofi because it was hard for me to trust. But Chloe did make a lot of solid points. If shewasin it for the money, she would’ve done something about it earlier. With the help of the internet, she could’ve fucking found me in mere minutes. She could’ve ratted me out to the press. I wasn’t exactly a mysterious man. My face was all over the internet, thanks to Hayes PharmaCorp.
Her last words struck me the most, and they kept on echoing in my ears since I walked out her door.
“We’re going to be okay without you.”
It’s not that I didn’t want them to be okay, I fucking did. I just didn’t want Sofi to grow up knowing that her father was a deadbeat, especially when I bent heaven and earth for Billy Anne not to be neglected. That would make me a hypocrite. And I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
I’d be the same exact person as Tonette. Only worse. Because Tonette had nothing, and she clearly had problems. While I had everything—the money, the resources, the fucking power. I could give that child everything she needed, just like what I did for Billy Anne. I had no reason not to.
The look on Chloe’s face still flashed in my mind as I turned into the entrance of Billy Anne’s school.
Like always, Billy Anne was the first student to arrive. Aside from the familiar parked cars of her teachers, mine was the only one at the drop-off area.
As I stopped the car, Billy Anne unbuckled herself. She was wearing her blue plaid frock uniform with a white polo underneath. Her hair was down today, and only a white headband held her hair in place and away from her face. I left the car with her, grabbing her backpack and lunch bag from the trunk. Billy Anne waited patiently for me like she always did, surveying the vicinity, perhaps waiting for the unfamiliar face of her new art teacher.
“Are you panicking?”
“What’s panicking, Daddy?” She frowned up at me. She knew what artificial meant but didn’t know what panicking was.
“Are you worried? Is your heart beating really fast?” She brought her tiny hands to her chest to feel her heartbeat and studied the beating organ for a quick minute.
“It’s beating fast.”
“In a bad way or in a good way?”
“I’m excited to see my friends.”
“In a good way, then,” I nodded, setting her bag on the ground and handing her lunch bag. “You’re not worried about your new art teacher?”
“Well, you said you were going to kick her butt if she’s mean.”
“That I will.” Which, in a way, was true. Because if this new teacher decided to even raise her fucking voice at my daughter, she was out. And good luck to her finding another job in the area.
I crouched down to level my eyes with my child, and I swear to God, all I could see was Sofi.
“You know I love you, right?”
Billy Anne beamed. “I know, Daddy.”
“And I’d do anything for you.” I was saying this to Billy Anne, but I felt like I also needed to say this to Sofi. And actually make it happen.
“Anything?” Oh, fuck. The smirk on her face told me that she had thought of something mischievous. I was one step ahead of her.
“Well, except going to Disney World.”
“Why?” she whined, stomping her foot on the concrete.
“Because it’s three hours away. I have work, and you have school.”