I kick down.
The first thing I do when we get home is head to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine. I have a feeling we’re going to need it. I pour two glasses and carry them into the dining room, where Josie has taken a seat at the table.
After a big sip of wine, she lowers her glass and finally meets my gaze. “If we’re going to talk about this, I don’t want to fight.”
“Who says that I do?”
“Years of knowing you and knowing how you like to push my buttons.”
“You’re right,” I admit. “But can’t you see that I’ve changed? I’m not twelve years old, Josie. You’re the one who’s still living in the past and can’t grow up.” I can see that my comment has hit her and it hurts me, but Josie has to face her problem, has to face us. “In all seriousness though, I don’t want to fight either.”
“Then whatdoyou want?”
“I want you to stay with me.” It’s all I want and all I can put on the table.
She takes a shuddering breath. It’s the only thing that gives some kind of hint as to what she’s feeling. “Cal…”
“Just hear me out. You know I care about you, and I know you care about me. We’re good together. We don’t have to end our relationship because the month is up. We can give this a go, for real.”
“Just like that?” Josie asks. “You want us to stay married so we can start dating?”
“A strange way to put it but, yes, that’s exactly what I want.”
For the first time since she got on my bike, she cracks a small smile. “Everything about this is strange. I’m pretty sure dating is supposed to comebeforemarriage.”
“That’s how that kiddie rhyme goes, isn’t it? First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Josie with a baby carriage.”
She gives a sweet chuckle. “So they say.” Taking a deep breath, she slowly sips her wine. “Cal, you make all of this sound so easy.”
“It is easy.”
“No, it’s not. I’ve thought about this for days and days now.”
I raise one brow.
“Yes. We are two very different people. We lead two separate lives. We both want different things. This was all temporary. You have your dealership and your businesses. I’m starting this new job at The Diner and trying to get my artwork out there… It’s just a lot to handle right now. I’m not somebody who reacts on impulse without a second thought to the consequences. I’d rather wait things out, take my time. Yeah, in theory staying together sounds great, but what is that actually going to look like?”
“Anything we want it to!”
Josie sighs. “I can’t make a permanent decision based off a temporary emotion. Please try to respect my decision. There are feelings between us, yes, feelings I was not anticipating or ready for. But if you’re not willing to even attempt to see things from my point of view, what kind of relationship could that be? Honestly, it’s better if we just stay friends.”
Is she joking? “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Eh…it’s better than nothing, no?”
“No. It’s worse than nothing. Get a grip, woman. Anyway, I’m asking you to follow your heart, not your head,” I explain, keeping my voice calm. “Okay, yeah, sure, we don’t know where this is going. But that’s okay. We don’t need to have every little detail planned out. What’s the fun in that? Life is about seizing the day because tomorrow isn’t set in stone. You have feelings for me, so choose me. Choose us.”
After a moment’s pause during which she stares at me in disbelief, I add, “You changed my world, Josie. For the better. I can change yours—if you just let me.”
“Please, Cal. Let’s not make this any worse.”
“I’ve hired a realtor to look for a big new apartment for us.”
For a moment, she’s speechless.
First, I take it as a good sign. But then she slumps back in a way that makes me glad I didn’t present her with signed papers and keys to our big new apartment.
“Youwhat?Unbelievable. See? That proves my point exactly. You want to change my life by making decisions, on important things, without asking me. You want to mold me into something that fits your fucking world, not the other way around. We’re just too different—”