Page 15 of Heir Of Sun And Moon
“I was stewing in indecision. I knew that I was a lifeline you didn’t have with anyone else and that no other guard would dare go against the king to make sure you had what you needed.” I see the pain and guilt in his expression, his eyebrows furrowing together as he rests his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands in the middle. “It wasn’t about you in any way. I just— I missed her, and everything about my life here reminded me of her. I wanted to get away, maybe move to one of those small towns on the outskirts of the capital to start somewhere new.”
I can’t help the small twist of pain in my heart. I came so close to losing him, so close to being even more alone. What if he had left? What if the past almostnineyears had been spent without him here to visit and teach me things I wouldn’t have learned otherwise?
“What changed your mind?” I question, my voice still small.
Seeing the fear and hurt that I am failing to suppress, his expression turns remorseful. “Alanna’s voice came into my mind, and I was reminded of something she told me before she passed away.”
Over the years, I’ve only gotten small bits and pieces out of Alexi about his wife and his life outside of being a guard. Most of them are just little facts about their relationship—they were married, she was a seamstress that worked at one of the shops in the capital square, and her death had come as a shock. I didn’t know if his desire not to tell me too much about her was to protect me from his sorrow or if he was trying to protect himself from her memories.
“Alanna knew that I often snuck in to visit you. She hated that the king secluded you and then told the kingdom that you had chosen this life because of your grief. She never spoke a word of it to anyone else, but when it was just her and I, she would ask about you,” he explains. My breath squeezes out of my chest, an overwhelming feeling of sadness, but also appreciation for her, settling in deep. “Alanna and I were unable to have children, but she always had the softest spot for them. She would tell me over and over again that I needed to be a safe place for you to anchor to, someone that would keep you from harm.”
My hands press together as my lip starts to tremble. The thought that this woman, whom I had never met, cared about me at all, let alone this much was overwhelming. She was under no obligation to. Neither was Alexi. They cared because they felt it was right to do so, because they were good people.
“And I failed, Rhea. I fail every time the king comes to your room and I do nothing.” He hangs his head low, his gaze moving to the ground by his boots. The air feels heavy with the weight of regret and despair bearing down on me.
“No,” I whisper, shaking my head. Then my voice grows firm as I say, “The king would have just killed you if you tried to stop him. He would have killed you without a second thought, and some other guard, one more loyal to him, would have replaced you. You know this.”
When my words don’t reassure him, I move around the tea table to kneel by him, taking his hands in my own. “Have you ever told anyone, the king or otherwise, about the night Bella almost died?” This is a topic we never talk about, haven’t talked about, since the night it happened. Alexi’s wariness then made me hesitate to ever bring it up with him again. But with the memory fresh on my mind, I know it’s the perfect opportunity to show him that he’s wrong.
“Never,” he answers firmly.
“Then you haven’t failed me. That knowledge in the wrong hands is a death sentence; I have no doubts about that. I can handle the king’s visits, but I can’t handle your guilt over them.” I squeeze his hands more tightly, willing him to understand. “You have made this existence more bearable. You have taught me, guided me”—my breath catches for a moment—“raised me to be something better than I ever could have been on my own.” His eyes yield further at my words. “Besides, my body is healing me while I sleep now.”
Alexi’s brows furrow as he again looks me over, like he is seeing if he can watch the action as it happens. “It’s healing you without you trying?” He asks the question quietly as though the magic can hear him, as if it’s a separate entity from myself. Maybe it is.
I nod my head, giving his hands one more squeeze of reassurance before standing and walking back to take my seat on the couch. Reaching down, I give Bella’s head a little scratch as she resumes her position at my feet.
“You were in the guard at the time my parents were king and queen, did—did they ever seem like they had magic?” I stammer, a blush creeping up my cheeks. It’s such a ridiculous thing to ask. If somehow my parents weren’t mortal, how did they keep their magic when they crossed through the Spell to come to this kingdom? I know that I got my honey blonde hair, bright green eyes, and creamy complexion from my mother. Is it possible I got magic from her too? And if so, how am I able tokeep itwhile living in the Mortal Kingdom?
“As far as I know, they were just mortals. But you know that mages look like us. There are no physical differences, just the presence of magic and a marginally longer life,” he answers.
My head tilts in contemplation. “What if the magic came from my father’s side? Is there a chance the king has it as well?” I wonder as chills work their way down my neck and back at the thought. The king is terrifyingly powerful enough without adding magic to the mix. Alexi pinches his lips together in thought.
“King Dolian is not the sort of man who would keep something like that hidden if he possessed it. He’d use it to his advantage somehow and would certainly show it off. And if he had their magic flowing in his veins, he definitely wouldn’t have made it his mission as king to declare that mages who enter these lands would be killed.”
Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I consider what Alexi said. It makes sense. Why would the king encourage his own demise by creating contempt between the Mortal and Mage Kingdoms if he did indeed have magic. I imagine his littlesessionswith me would be quite different if magic were present. Still, I can’t dismiss it completely.
“Have you ever tried using it again? Testing it out since that night?”
“No. I’m afraid to. I can sometimes feel it sitting inside me, here.” I rub my hand over my lower abdomen. “Like it’s letting me know it’s there, waiting for me. It gets more… active when the king is near me, but I’ve been able to keep it from showing.”
Alexi leans back, elbows braced on the sides of the armchair and fingers interlaced under his chin. I turn my gaze out to the glass balcony doors, watching as the stars twinkle a bright silver in the sky.
“One more round,” he says, leaning forward again to collect our cards and start a new game.
“You just want a do-over since I was winning our current hand,” I respond, giggling when he gives me a wry look. He gestures with his chin to the white bag on the table.
“Don’t you want to see what’s inside? You won the first hand.”
“I want to be surprised,” I respond as I spread my newly dealt cards in my hand and plan which one I’ll lay down first.
“Never thought I’d see the day that Rhea Maxwell would not take an opportunity to see what sugar-filled treat was waiting for her.”
I roll my eyes, feigning mock offense. Alexi stands abruptly and walks to the balcony, scanning the sky like he’s looking for something.
“What are you doing?” I ask, jumping to my feet as Bella startles awake and comes up to stand by me, both of us now on high alert.
He sighs, running the hand not holding his cards through his hair. “Just checking to see if the stars are falling. It is the only explanation for why you would deny yourself a peek inside that bag.” He turns around, an almost boyish grin on his face while my own expression is that of pure shock.
