Page 56 of Heir Of Sun And Moon
“The winner gets to ask any question, and the loser has to answer it,” he smiles, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that’s probably meant to be silly but on him looks suggestive.
Control yourself, Rhea.I pretend to hem and haw, finger tapping playfully on my chin. Flynn laughs, the sound of it wrapping around me like a star-kissed breeze. Looking down at my last card, I know there is only one in the entire deck that is higher in value, though I can’t remember if it has already been played. However, the potential to ask him anything and know hehasto answer is too enticing.
“Deal. Beat this,” I taunt smugly, laying my card down on top of the pile. I watch his face for the moment he realizes he’s lost, a question for him already on the tip of my tongue. But he doesn’t look defeated or even surprised. My fear is confirmed when he lays down the one card that could beat mine. I scoff, acknowledging my defeat with a childish pout. He laughs again as he sits up, placing his forearms on the table. In the light of the gem between us, his eyes take on a dark silver hue. “Fine,” I concede, leaning back against the couch, “what do you want to know?” The teasing smile melts slowly from his face and is replaced with a thoughtful look instead. His jaw catches the light in a way that it shows the cut of it more sharply, accentuating it along with his cheekbones.
“There are many things that I would love to know about you, Sunshine.” Gods, that nickname. I open my mouth to ask him, again, why he insists on calling me that, but he continues speaking before I can voice it. “But there is one thing that I can’t stop wondering about,” he says, pausing before adding softly, “do you wish to live outside of this tower?”
I freeze, my eyes trapped by his. I don’t know how to answer that. I mean, I knowwhatmy answer is, but panic is preventing me from voicing it. Why does he want to know? The blood oath makes it so that he can’t help me leave—at least that is how Alexi explained it—but could it be that he would also have to act if he thought I was eventhinkingabout it? Would he have to report to the king that I’m planning an escape? His words are careful—specific—not asking me if I want to escape but if I want to live elsewhere.
“Rhea, don’t panic.” He gets up from the floor and makes his way to sit next me, our knees touching where he’s angled his body to face mine. “I’m just wondering because I want to help.”
My lips part as my emotions tumble inside me. I wanted this. I wanted his help. And yet now that he’s offered? I’m overwhelmed with anxiety about it.
“You can’t help me,” I say, confusion and indecision roiling inside me at how much I should tell him. At how truthful I should be when the magic of his blood oath might make him stop me. His brows draw down over his eyes while his mouth settles into a thin line. My heart aches at the look on his face, like he’s betrayed by my rejection of his help. “Not because I don’t want you to,” I add with a shaky breath. “It’s just the blood oath…” I trail off.
“You don’t need to worry about that,” he declares.
“Of course I do,” I state, trepidation echoing with every beat of my heart. “Alexi told me that it prevents any of you from letting me leave. Are you telling me that’s a lie?” The thought that Alexi could have helped me this whole time makes my stomach lurch and chest squeeze. I can’t handle anything that devastating on top of everything else I’m keeping locked up inside. It is enough to destroy me.
“No, it’s not a lie,” he answers quickly. “The blood oath all of the guards take includes a line about not letting the princess—you—escape the tower in any capacity.” His jaw clenches, a muscle moving in his cheek. “The king says it’s because you aren’t in your right mind.”
I snort at that, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. I need to change the subject and get away from the severity of this topic. To move away from how close he is to discovering that I’m planning to leave on my own. So, of course, I settle on the first thing that pops into my head.
“What has the king said about the Cruel Death lately?” I ask, wincing at my lack of tact. Flynn’s eyebrows shoot up momentarily, and the speed with which he’s moved from dismay to shock is almost funny enough to make me laugh.
“You are terrible at being subtle,” he mumbles, running a hand through his hair.
“I wasn’t trying to be.” I smile with forced sweetness. He huffs out a laugh, but I don’t miss the way his eyes linger on my lips, like a smile is so rare from me that even a fake one is worth taking a double look at.
“We will be revisiting this topic,” he says pointedly before sighing and leaning back against the couch. “And the Cruel Death is steadily getting worse. So many young men and women have fallen victim to it. The king keeps telling everyone that he is working on a solution, but no one other than him knows what that entails.”
“Of course,” I snark, not at all surprised by the lies my uncle tells. He’s nothing if not a skilled manipulator.
“I get updates from the other guards about cities outside of Vitour, but the general consensus is that it mostly targets men of age to serve in the king’s army and women in their child birthing years.”
“Have you ever seen someone die from it?” He nods, but doesn’t offer anything else, so I continue, “Do you know if the Cruel Death is in the other kingdoms?” I wonder if they have this affliction too.
“I’m not sure,” he replies, tapping his knee with his finger. There’s a silence in the air that holds a different kind of tension. It’s the strain of unsaid words and secrets kept. I feel the weight of it all, heavy on my shoulders. “What are you thinking about?” Flynn asks, reaching over to gently tug on a strand of my hair.
I consider telling him everything.Everything. My promise to Alexi. The truth about what the king does to me. I think about sharing that Iamfinally ready to escape, that I believe I actually can. Briefly, I contemplate telling him that I’m composed of a myriad of broken and mismatched pieces, but talking with him makes me feel like maybe I’m notjustthose things. That being with him makes me feel softer—less jagged. But when I try to speak, the words won’t come out. My mouth closes, and all I can do is stare at him and hope he understands. Hope he sees that I want to try opening up more to him, but there is an intrinsic part of my soul that has been keeping track of every time I’ve had something precious and every time it was ripped away. My parents. My freedom. My autonomy. Alexi. Nearly Bella. Mylife.More than likely my future. And Flynn, he’s precious to me. Even if it pulls the frayed strings of my heart farther apart, I’ll take being the cause of his sadness over the cause of his death.
I expect him to be angry with me. Pulling in a breath, I brace for the irritation to come over his face. For him to see me as I see myself: someone completely out of place. But his eyes only ease further as his lips tug into a small smile. He holds his hand out to me in the darkness, palm up. Like a rope thrown into the chasm, it’s an offering of physical comfort. I reach over slowly and lay my hand onto his, interlacing our fingers, and my entire body relaxes.
“I don’t know what it has been like for you here. Not wholly anyway,” he states quietly, gesturing to the space around us with his free hand. “But I would like to know. One day, when you’re ready, I would like to know everything about you.”
“You claim that, but my life hasn’t been one of joy and whimsy. There has been no fairytale happy ending,” I whisper, willing the tears in my eyes to stop.
“Then it is not your ending yet,” he says. “I haven’t known you for very long, Sunshine, but you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.” I start to disagree with him, but he squeezes my hand in a silent protest, never actually speaking over me. I pinch my lips together—a move he chuckles at—and let him continue. “I think you are too hard on yourself. You have lived—no,survived—in this place for your entire life. And you’ve done it mostly alone. There are men walking around this tower acting as guards that don’t have half the courage, half the perseverance, that you do.” I huff out a breath and turn my gaze down to my lap. The way he’s looking at me, like I’m something to be admired, is too much. “Rhea,” he rumbles, the sound laced with a richer, deeper kind of intent.
When my gaze meets his again, the pained sincerity in his eyes nearly undoes me. He truly believes everything he’s just said. It’s written on his face and in the way he holds himself steady, not shifting under my stare. I may not be able to tell when people are pretending around me, but Flynn wears his feelings out in the open for me so that I don’t have to search for them.
“What are we doing?” I quietly ask.
“I don’t know,” he answers raggedly. “When it comes to you, I am cast out to sea without any sense of direction. I—” He pauses and swallows. “I have never felt this way about anyone before. I’ve never felt so lost and so sure about someone at the same time.”
“Me either.” Smirking, I add, “Obviously.”
He laughs at that, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “Just consider what I asked before. Please.”
