Page 22 of Chasing Waves

“Sounds to me like you’re being a little selfish, don’t you think?”

Letting out a deep breath, I agreed. “Yeah. I was just really looking forward to it. I haven’t really figured out what I want to do with my life after quitting the circuit, so I’m not ready to go back home.” The thought of packing it up and going home when my journey had barely just begun was a huge bummer.

“Why did you stop surfing?”

I wasn’t sure how much to share with her. Maybe I would leave out the booze and girls for now.

“My mom and little sister were in an accident last year. It was pretty bad.” I scratched behind Midnight’s ears. Talking about the accident always made me fidgety and uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry.” She lifted her head and listened attentively.

“They’re better now for the most part, but it was rough for a while. It got me thinking about my life and what I wanted from it, and while I love surfing, there were a lot of things surrounding it that weren’t the healthiest.”

Her eyes glistened with knowledge.

“Do you know something about the surf world? Have you been holding out, surfer girl?”

A quiet laugh escaped her slightly parted lips and it was probably the most beautiful thing my ears had ever heard, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she countered with, “So, Levi, tell me, are you running from something,” she paused, “or someone?”

I thought for a moment. That was a really good question. “I don’t know. Maybe a little of both. But it’s more about running to something, if that makes sense.”

“Yeah, I get what you’re saying. You want something more.”

She rested her cheek back on her knees and watched me with wide open eyes. If I wasn’t mistaken, it seemed like she actually cared about what I was saying.

“Yeah, something more.”

Charlee lifted her head. “By definition, something more is in addition to what is already there. You don’t have to lose everything you are to enrichwhoyou are. Just look at it through different lenses. Shift it, flip it, whatever it takes to tweak the you of now to be the you of tomorrow.”

I digested her words carefully. Maybe I had been looking at my transformation wrong all along. “I’m not sure how to do that,” I replied honestly.

“I guess it’s a good thing you are a doing a soul-searching trip then.” She winked.

“Maybe, maybe not. Drew might have other plans.” I shrugged.

“I’m sure whatever happens you’ll figure it out.” She pushed herself up. “I should go.”

We had been together all morning, but it wasn’t enough for me. “Do you want to grab lunch at the café?” I stood up hastily, but she was already several steps away with Midnight following obediently at her side.

She smiled over her shoulder. “Maybe another time.”

I watched her until she closed herself inside her trailer and then looked over at the Airstream. I had stalled long enough. It was time to make peace with Drew and give him my blessing. I would figure out the rest on my own, whether that meant buying my own Airstream or going home.

Charlee

After I made myself lunch, I strolled down to the water, picking up seashells that had beached themselves and tossed them back into the ocean. Bridger and I used to skip them like rocks on a lake, and over the decades, we had some pretty pathetic successes to which we would celebrate by dancing around and screaming like little kids. Remembering made me smile, but now when one of my shells skipped along the calm, moving waters effortlessly, there was no one to celebrate with, and my smile all but disappeared.

Every day I would sit at the café, staring out to the water, rifling through all the times Bridger and I surfed together. There were so many that a lot of the memories overlapped, but the last time was unforgettable. The weather had started out gloomy and wet, but just as we swam out, the clouds broke and the sun bathed us in warmth, as if the universe knew it had to be perfect, and it did not disappoint. The waves had been epic, and we rode all day, becoming completely famished by dinner.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” I looked warily to Bridger. Both of us were suited up with our boards by our sides.

“Of course. I would never lie to you.” He winked his signature wink.

He hid a lot of his ailments from me these days because he hated feeling like a burden. Most of the time, I dismissed his little white lies about his health, but being in the ocean could be dangerous if he suddenly passed out. I was a great swimmer, but hauling someone out of the ocean was something else entirely.

“Maybe I should have taken my lifeguard test,” I joked. Kind of.

“I’ll be fine, but this weather sucks.”

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