Page 116 of Devoured

“And you don’t want to wait?”

“I’m not even sure I have a choice,” I said. “Isabella will leak it in a matter of days anyway. It’s better to get ahead of it.”

“So why the hesitancy on your end?”

“I don’t want Penny to doubt my intentions here. By keeping our relationship a secret, isn’t that what I’d be doing? The last thing I want her to think is that I’m embarrassed or something. Because I’m not.” I knew that didn’t answer his question. I was rambling. Trying to make sense of the thoughts swirling around in my head and the fear gripping my chest.

“I believe you. I still don’t see the problem.”

“My lawyer thinks I’ll probably be fired.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

I ran my hand across my desk. “I’m worried. This job has been good for me. The structure and routine that I’ve needed. You said yourself how necessary that is for me.”

“This relationship has pulled you away from your routine though. In a good way.”

“But I slipped.”

There was a long pause on his end. “Do you think that maybe Penny is the key to you being content? Not the job?”

“I only slipped when I started dating her. I was in a really good place before I ran into her.”

“Were you really?”

I frowned. “Wasn’t I?”

“James, I never once saw you smile during a session before you met Penny. Not a single time.”

I swallowed hard.

“Let’s look at this from a different angle. Say you do get fired tomorrow. You do need something to focus on. Something to preoccupy your mind when Penny is in classes during the day.”

“I’m working on some stuff.”

He waited for me to elaborate, but I didn’t want to go into the logistics of my security system that really hadn’t worked. I needed to put more time into it.

“Alright,” he said. “Good. And you’ll still be surrounded by people who care about you. Penny. Ellen. Ian.”

“And Rob,” I said.

“Your brother?”

What other Rob would I be talking about? “Yeah. He’s going to be visiting this weekend.” That was misleading. He wasn’t visiting for just the weekend. I was pretty sure he had nowhere else to go. He’d be staying indefinitely.

“Hmm,” Dr. Clark said.

“Hm?”

“You’ve taken a step away from all your family and friends with your move. It’s a lot to quit your job, start hanging out with Rob again, and being in a new relationship.”

Fuck my life.I knew he’d think it was a bad idea. “I want to work on repairing my relationships.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do.” Why the hell wouldn’t I?

“Well, that’s good. But it might not be the best time. In the midst of so much change, James.”

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