Page 124 of Devoured

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. “So you intend to marry her?”

“I only just got out of one marriage.” I forced a laugh. But apparently Dr. Clark didn’t find it funny, because he sighed.

“Forever in most circumstances comes with a ring.”

“But Penny’s young. She…”

“James, that’s exactly my point.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Yeah.”

“So despite the fact that Penny isn’t out partying all the time…let’s say she is having an amazing college experience. She’s having just as good of a time as you were back in college.”

“If she is, then I’m a part of that.”

“Yes. But we need to go back for just a second. Before she met you. Was she having as much fun as you had back in college? Would she have wanted to mess any of that up?”

“Well, she did mess it up. She chose to pursue me, just as much as I pursued her.”

Dr. Clark sighed again like I was exhausting him. “It’s hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. And we’re honestly approaching this all wrong. Is Penny there? Could you put her on the call too and we can work through this together?”

I honestly didn’t love the idea of Penny talking to Dr. Clark. It was one thing telling her about my messy past. It was another for her to be able to ask Dr. Clark questions. “She is here. But she’s sleeping.”

“Okay. Well, this is a conversation you need to have with her. I want you to ask her if she was happy before you met. Only she can really answer that. You need to hash it all out with open communication.”

I didn’t want her to think about being happier before she met me. And how could that possibly be true anyway? I truly did believe we were a perfect fit. Which meant I completed her just as much as she completed me. We were better together.

“And I don’t want you to just talk about where she was in life before she met you. I want you to talk about where you’d like to be going forward. Together.”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t sound thrilled.”

“I haven’t been thrilled for a million years.” I laughed at my own joke. Since he said my being at college was a million years ago. But again, Dr. Clark didn’t respond. Penny probably would have laughed. Hence why we were better together.

“Okay,” he finally said. “You don’t find your relationship with Penny thrilling?”

“It was a joke. Of course I find my relationship with her thrilling. She makes me feel young again.”

“Because she’s young.”

“Yes. I get it. You don’t need to beat me over the head with this anymore.” But he was wrong if he thought Penny and I were really in different places in our lives. She was 20. She was allowed to fall in love and make rational changes in her life because of that.

“Okay. I want you to revisit your memory before you go speak to her. To give you more perspective.”

“Alright?” I didn’t know where he was going with this. Did he want me to insert Penny into the memory and see how the night would have gone differently? Because I wound up naked, and that probably would have still happened if Penny was there…albeit differently. We probably just would have wound up naked in my bed together.

“You’re remembering this great night. One of your best nights. But were there some bad parts? Maybe it wasn’t all sunshine and roses.”

“Well, Rob accidentally drugged Mason when he was trying to be clean for the season. It almost got Mason kicked off the team. That was pretty shitty.”

“I want it to be more of a reflection ofyournight, not Mason’s.”

“Okay.”

“Keep telling me the story. But leave wiggle room as you go. Remember all of it. Not just the best moments now.”

“All the gory details?” I said with a laugh.

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