Page 127 of Devoured

“Then why do you keep asking for it?” Rob said.

“I meant I need the whole package. Of the woman variety. I need to put my dick in all the holes. Female holes. There’s three of them.” He got a big goofy grin on his face.

“Aren’t you not supposed to be doing that?” Matt asked.

“Aren’t you not supposed to be doing that?” Mason mimicked back in a very incoherent way.

Matt laughed. “That’s not at all how I sound.”

“Ah!” Rob yelled at the top of his lungs. “Speaking of holes, we’re late.”

“For what?” I asked.

“The soiree. There will be holes for Mason there. Come on.” He tapped Mason’s chest and started walking away.

“Did we agree to that?” Matt called after him. “I don’t remember agreeing to that. Or…maybe I do.”

“Did we agree to that?” Mason mimicked again with weird shoulder attitude this time.

“Dude, stop doing that.”

“Dude, stop doing that. Bloink!” He lightly slapped both of Matt’s cheeks at the same time and made a farting noise.

***

I wasn’t even sure how it happened. My memory just jumped to the four of us in an empty white room.

“I’m confused,” Mason said. “I see no holes. Dicks need holes, Rob.” He groaned and looked up at the ceiling. “I need a hole!”

“Yeah,” Rob said. “I’m confused too. Why did they send us in here?”

“How did we even get here?” Matt put his hands on the walls. “Whatishere? What even is life?” He banged his head against the wall.

Well, Matt was having a moment.

He banged his head again.

I pulled him away from the wall to stop him from getting a concussion.

“The door is locked!” Mason yelled. “We’re going to die in here without getting laid one last time!”

The door immediately opened. I was pretty sure it hadn’t been locked at all. I laughed.Doorknobs. Who the hell thought of putting a knob on a door? I laughed again. A knob was such a stupid thing to put on a wooden board.

An older man walked into the room wearing a beret that he had no business wearing.

“Aha! You’ve arrived. Just in time too.” He snapped his fingers and a woman came running in with a clipboard and a plastic bag. She handed him the bag and then ran off just as quickly as she’d come.

“Here are your outfits,” he said. “You have two minutes to change and then please make your way into the party. Any questions?” He pushed the bag into Mason’s hands.

“I have questions,” Mason said as he stared into the bag. “But also…I was a hat earlier.”

“Um. Okay,” the man said. “Just change and shimmy on out to the party.” He turned on his heel and left the room.

“I didn’t know there was a dress code,” Rob said. “You think she would have mentioned that.” He peered into the bag that Mason was holding. “Oh. Shit.”

“What?” I asked and looked into the bag. I plucked out a big fig leaf. “What the hell is this?”

“What the hell is anything?” Matt said with a big sigh.

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