Page 132 of Devoured

“Explains what?”

“Tiny penis syndrome.” He giggled.

Rob glared at him. “You can’t even see my dick. It’s behind a leaf.”

“Exactly. It’s hidden behind a very small leaf.”

“This leaf is like a foot long.”

The artist cleared her throat again. We all froze.

“Wait, can you buy walls?” Matt asked. “Because now that I’m thinking about it…that’s kind of what buying a house is. I’ll try to buy a piece of this house.”

“Or we could just sneak back in here later and paint over it,” Rob said.

“Why would you paint over us?” Mason leaned forward to see the wall to our side. “We look good. Very realistic.”

I craned my neck to see too. I had to hand it to the artist…we looked like fucking Greek Gods. “You can tell it’s us though,” I said.

“Can you?” Rob asked. “I don’t know.”

I laughed. “What other four idiots would wind up doing this on a Friday night during tops-optional night at the Gryphon Club?”

“What did you just say to me?” Rob asked.

“Oh. Oops. That was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Why the fuck are we ass naked at this soiree when your weird frat has a bunch of topless girls roaming around waiting to be motorboated by yours truly?”

“Because you made us come here,” I said with a laugh.

“But you left off very important details.”

“Because it was a surprise.”

“Okay, new plan,” Rob said. He craned his neck to see the painting. “We’ve been here for like 12 hours.”

“Maybe 20 minutes,” I said.

“Same difference. She got what she needed from our bodies. New plan.”

“I’m listening,” Mason said. “As long as it involves that buffet.” He pointed to where everyone else was getting to eat.

“Absolutely. We’re going to run to the buffet, grab a bunch of food, and then run back to the Gryphon Club. On three. Three!” Rob sprinted off.

“What happened to counting!” Mason yelled.

“We needed a hut, hut or something,” Matt said.

“Where are you going?!” the artist yelled. “You agreed to pose for four hours!”

Sorry…what? No.That wasn’t happening. “Let’s go!” I yelled and sprinted after Rob.

Matt and Mason followed. I grabbed a handful of chicken before Mason lifted the whole silver chafer.

“Stop!” she yelled.

But we’d all already grabbed our own chafers and were sprinting back to the hallway.

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