Page 135 of Devoured

“Tanner. It’s a bad name. Bad juju. It’s not for me. Right, Matt? Tanner sucks?”

“We don’t know anyone named Tanner,” Matt said.

Rob shuddered. “I know. But it’s a very bad name. I have a feeling that if I ever meet a Tanner, I’m going to fucking hate him.”

I shook my head. “But the mist is actually really cool…”

“That sounds flashy and stupid, just like the name Tanner.”

Mason laughed. “You hate most people that aren’t us. Bloink!” He slapped Rob’s cheeks. The face ones, not the ass ones.

“What do you think the four of you are doing?” someone said from behind us.

We all turned around and stared at the campus security guard. And we were much more still than we had been while posing for that mural.

“We’re invisible,” Matt whispered.

The security guard frowned at all of us. “No, you are not invisible, son. And entering the fountain is against campus rules.”

“We’re invisible,” Matt said again.

The security guard shook his head. “I’ve gotten calls about disturbances at the library tonight. And at an alumni charity live art event. Apparently four young men who were supposed to be tastefully posing in fig leaves stole a prop sword and lots of food.”

Mason tucked the sword behind his back while I tried to cover my fig leaf with my hands.

“That wasn’t us,” Matt said. “Because we’re invisible.”

“I’m going to need the four of you to step out of the fountain.”

“Isn’t this guy our age?” Rob whispered to me.

“Yeah, it’s like a campus job for students,” I whispered back.

“Which means he has no actual authority. I think we should punch him.”

“Better idea,” I said. “Well, maybe try that too if my idea doesn’t work. But first…let’s rush him.” I looked over at Mason and Matt to make sure they’d heard us.

Mason saluted me.

That seemed like a yes.

“Hut, hut!” Matt yelled and we all scrambled out of the fountain and charged toward the security guard.

He screamed at the top of his lungs. I wasn’t sure if it was because of how intimidating we all were. Or if it was because we were all ass naked. But boy ran home.

“I’m the king of Harvard!” Mason yelled and lifted his sword in the air. He banged his fist against his chest.

Rob laughed. “Not on my watch.” He shoved Mason backward into the fountain and stole the sword.

***

We showed up almost three hours late to our own party, completely drenched, and still high enough that we didn’t really need the red solo cups someone shoved into our hands. But we downed them anyway.

“Holy fuck,” Rob said as he saw a girl walk by in nothing but heels and a pair of cut-off jean shorts.

We were only standing in the foyer and you could already tell that this was the best party ever.

“You weren’t kidding,” Rob said. “Tops-optional is the best idea. But what’s the actual theme for the party?”

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