Page 138 of Devoured

“Holes?” Mason looked so confused even though he’d gone on and on about holes earlier. “What the fuck are you saying?”

Matt laughed. But it was forced. I looked over at him and he immediately looked away.

“Holes are female parts,” Rob said.

Mason just stared at him.

“For our dicks.”

Still no recollection on Mason’s face.

“Holes for our dicks.”

“That’s a gross way to describe a pussy.”

“You started it! Fuck, give me that.” He grabbed the trashcan from Mason.

“Lightweights,” I said. I put my hands behind my head and stared up at the ceiling. But I knew by saying that…that maybe I was the one with the problem, not them. I swallowed hard. Yeah, I definitely had a problem. And we all knew it.

Matt cleared his throat. “I gotta go to the bathroom again.” He walked out of the room.

The three of us looked at each other. And it was like we all sobered up at once.

Mason ran his hand down his face.

“I should go after him,” Rob said. But I was pretty sure if he tried to get up, he’d throw up somewhere other than the trashcan.

“I got it,” I said and climbed out of my bed. I hurried out of the room, but I didn’t need to go far. Matt was just sitting in the hallway outside my room. His eyes were closed and his head was leaning back against the wood paneling on the walls. His cheeks were stained with tears.

Fuck.I let my back slide down the wall too. “Matt?”

He opened his eyes and looked at me. And then he shook his head. “I miss her,” he choked out.

Matt only ever talked about this when he was really high or drunk. And I mean really, really fucked up. Because this was only the fourth time since her death that he’d mentioned her. Whenever we were sober, he always refused to talk about what happened. “I know.”

“No you don’t.”

“I do…”

“You don’t, man. I can’t breathe without her. I can’t…” his voice broke and he put his face in his hands.

I felt the tears roll down my own cheeks as I pulled his head against my shoulder.

I hated seeing him like this. And he was right. I didn’t understand. Not really. Because I’d never really loved anyone. And I knew for sure that no one loved me.

Matt kept sobbing.

I ran my hand up and down his back.

Mason walked out of the room. He looked down at us and gave me a sad smile. He sat down next to Matt too.

But he didn’t say anything at all. And maybe that’s what Matt needed. I knew he didn’t want to talk about it. At least, not yet.

Rob came out of the room too. He sighed. “Maybe not the best night ever.”

Matt laughed, but it was forced.

“Make room for me,” Rob said. He ducked under Mason’s arm and somehow managed to lay down on all three of our laps.

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