Page 20 of Devoured

I tossed it back onto the shelf next to an axe. A pretty real looking axe. I lifted it up and spun it around.This’ll work.

***

“James,” Ellen said as I stepped out of my room. She was standing at the stove stirring something that smelled amazing.

“What are you still doing here?”

She squinted her eyes at me. “Is that any way to greet me?”

“Sorry. I just figured you’d be gone for the weekend.”

“And I figured you’d be grading papers. Not…” her eyes scanned me from head to toe. “…cutting down a tree?”

I laughed and looked down at my lumberjack outfit. I was wearing a flannel shirt and old jeans tucked into a pair of work boots. My knit hat was pulled low to hopefully help hide my identity a bit. I didn’t want someone to recognize me from class. But the beard I’d been growing out from a lack of caring over the last few days definitely helped. If it wasn’t for the axe, I probably would have just looked like a college hipster. I’d blend in just fine.

“I’m going to Penny’s birthday party. It’s Halloween themed.” I shrugged. I knew that wasn’t exactly enough of an explanation. But I didn’t really feel like explaining myself. Because I didn’t have any reasons to do this except for selfish ones.

“Were you invited to this party?”

“I…was.”

“So that means you were invited a while ago, but she has no idea you’re coming tonight?”

“That’s about right.”

Ellen laughed. “Good.”

“Good?”

“It’s about time you stopped moping around and actually did something about it.”

I smiled.

“And James?”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe grovel a bit.”

I didn’t really do groveling. I’d much rather just hit someone with my axe. “I’m planning on apologizing.”

“Splendid. And will there be drinking at this party?”

I laughed. She was acting like I was in high school. Which was hilarious. Because I’d been drunk and high throughout most of that. And my actual mother hadn’t cared in the slightest.

“I’m serious, James.”

“It’s at a frat house. Of course there will be drinking.”

“Are you sure that’s a wise idea? Given…everything?”

I wasn’t sure if by everything she was talking about the abundance of cheap beer or the fact that I’d be surrounded by my students. Probably both. “I’ve already decided to go.” It was an answer she of all people could understand. She knew that once I set my mind on something I was rather relentless.

“And will you be partaking? I think maybe Ian should drive…”

“I’m going to walk.” I was trying to blend in. Bringing my bodyguard and rolling up in a Tesla kind of went against my plan here. “And I’m not going to drink, Ellen.” I hadn’t had a drink since Ian handed me a beer on that park bench. I felt so out of control the morning I woke up next to Isabella. I didn’t want to feel that way again. I didn’t want to put my relationship with Penny in jeopardy any more than I already had. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t remember what happened. Unlike Isabella, I had no idea and no way to figure it out. And I really hated feeling out of control.

“Do you promise?” Ellen asked. She pointed her spoon at me like she was tempted to hit me with it.

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