Page 43 of Devoured

Breathe."Okay. Just one kiss?"

"Yes. And he gave me some advice. About how if things are so hard between us maybe we're not meant to work things out."

Fucking Brendan."It's not bad advice."

"Clearly I didn't take it."

"I know." We were both silent for a moment. I knew I should just rip the Band-Aid off, but I didn’t want to. I wished I could be honest and tell Penny I couldn’t remember what happened with Isabella. But doing that would mean I accepted what Isabella had done. I already felt weak. Believing that she’d raped me? I wasn’t sure I could live with that. I tried to shake the thought away. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter what Isabella was threatening. I just needed to fucking man up to what I did.

"Is what you did worse than that?" she asked.

"Yes." I looked down at the envelope. I was holding it so tightly that I almost ripped it.

"Is it worse than the fact that I slept with Tyler?"

I closed my eyes. "I left you. You thought I had broken up with you. You weren't in the wrong."

"Is it worse?"

"By default, yes."

"So you had sex with someone else?"

I leaned forward and put my elbows on my knees.No."I did." I felt like I was going to throw up.

She stood up from the couch. "A stranger?"

Breathe."No."

She was staring at me like she already knew the truth. And she so easily believed it.

I’d made the right choice here. By not telling her I’d blacked out. She would have believed Isabella’s lies anyway. I wasn’t exactly trustworthy.

"Did you enjoy it?" she spat.

I don’t remember it.But I wouldn’t have. It wasn’t Penny. "It was just sex. It didn't mean anything. It wasn't like it is with you."

"So you did enjoy it?"

"Penny..."

"When we were arguing earlier you said all we were doing was fucking."

"I didn't mean it. I was upset." I really felt like I was going to be sick now.

"I shouldn't be upset with you. I slept with someone else too. But I am. I don't know what you want me to say."

"You're allowed to be upset with me." I was upset with her for sleeping with Tyler. Were we just doomed to always be mad at each other?

"It was her, wasn't it?"

I looked up at her.Don’t make me say it. I can’t.

"Isabella? Your wife?"

"Yes.”Breathe.

"Okay."

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