Page 7 of Devoured

“James.”

“All I need is a doctor’s appointment to make sure I didn’t catch whatever disgusting STDs she has.”

“If that’s what you want to do.” Ian finally started the car and pulled onto the busy city street.

We were both quiet as the scenery slowly changed from tall skyscrapers to green trees.

Last night I’d finally had hope again. Hope that I might actually deserve Penny.

But today? Isabella had made sure I lost all of it.

I couldn’t look Penny in the eye after last night.

I expected to feel better when Ian pulled onto Main Street. To feel lighter somehow at being closer to Penny. But I didn’t feel closer to her. I felt farther away than ever.

I’d wanted to win her back. That’s what I’d been trying to do. And I’d fucked it all up just like I fucked up everything in my life.

What was I supposed to do now? Try to win her back by telling her that I maybe cheated on her? That I’d been too shit-faced to even remember?

And I didn’t even really have a choice. It didn’t matter if I told Penny what actually happened. Or…what I remembered. Isabella had said she’d tell Penny that I’d cheated on her. She probably took pictures of the condom that I wasn’t even sure was mine. Hell, she might even have pictures on her phone that were even worse. I had no idea.

I’d told Isabella she wouldn’t get a cent from me if she talked about Penny to anyone. And yes, Isabella cared about her own image. But it was possible she cared more about destroying Penny’s image. And I wouldn’t risk anything when it came to Penny. My hands were tied.

It didn’t matter that I didn’t remember.

It didn’t matter that I didn’t know the truth.

Ian parked the car under my apartment complex. And we both just sat there.

“What are you going to tell her?” he asked.

He didn’t need to specify who. I knew he was talking about Penny. “I’m not going to tell her anything.”

“You can’t just not tell her.”

“Yes I can. Because Penny and I are done.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“She deserves better than someone like me.” I’d known it all along. I’d just been grasping at straws because I was obsessed with her. And that was part of the whole problem. My addiction. Isabella was right. I just wanted what I couldn’t have.

“So you’re just giving up on your fresh start?”

“I need a drink,” I said and climbed out of the car.

Ian got out of the car just as fast as me. “You don’t just get to walk away.”

“It’s what’s best for her.”

“Or is it just easier for you? To give up and drink your life away? Or…worse.”

“You’re right. I could be snorting cocaine off a hooker’s ass right now.”

Ian didn’t laugh, even though my joke was clearly hilarious.

“It’s just one drink.”

“You never stop at one drink, James.”

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