Page 8 of Devoured

Fuck him. I could stop at one drink if I wanted to. I walked toward the exit and out onto Main Street. It had started drizzling. I didn’t have an umbrella or a jacket with a hood. But I didn’t even care.

I sighed and stared up at the clouds.

I didn’t want a drink.

I just wanted to sit here and drown in my sorrows.

I sat down on the closest bench as the rain picked up. I put my face in my hands.

I’d lost Penny. I’d fucking lost her. And Isabella made sure I could never get her back.

It had been torture seeing Penny in class the past week. Like what we had meant nothing. How was I supposed to keep going like that? How was I supposed to actually give her up?

I wasn’t sure there were rehab facilities for broken hearts. I lay down on the bench and let the rain fall on my face.

“Here,” Ian said. I opened my eyes and saw him handing me a beer. “It’s a better alternative than the cocaine thing.”

I laughed, even though it was forced. “I was just joking.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure.”

I sat up and grabbed the beer. Yeah, I wasn’t entirely sure either. I took a sip of the beer as we both sat there in the pouring rain.

It felt like life kept taking shots at me. Like I wasn’t supposed to win this game. I took another sip. “This is disgusting.”

“What? It’s the good stuff. Cheap college beer. It’s nostalgic.”

“It’s disgusting,” I said again, but I still took another swig.

“I think you should tell Penny the truth,” Ian said.

“I don’t know what the truth is.”

“Then tell her that.”

“It doesn’t matter what I tell her. Isabella said she’d tell Penny I slept with her.” Penny and I already had trust issues. She had a bad habit of believing tabloids instead of me. And if she was hearing directly from my ex instead of some article? I wouldn’t trust me either.

“Isabella’s the fucking worst,” Ian said.

“Cheers to that.” I tapped my can against his. “Penny really is better off without me,” I said.

“I don’t know about that.”

“You can’t seriously sit here and tell me I’m a catch.”

Ian laughed. “I wasn’t going to call you a catch, you weirdo. You’re a mess. But you’re a lot less of a mess when you’re with her. She makes you better.”

“It’s not really fair to put that pressure on her.”

“It’s also not really fair for you to cut her out for no reason.”

“She’s 19, Ian. She’s just a kid. And I’m a…”

“A monster? Yeah, Ellen told me you said that. I don’t think you’re a monster, James.”

“Because I pay you to not think of me that way.”

“Ellen also told me that you gave her the exact same lame reasoning.” He shook his head as he stared at me. “I saw monsters while I was overseas. Real ones. And you’re not like them.”

---