Page 70 of Gumdrops and Garland

“Like what?” He stopped to ask the question and I tried to focus on the trees rather than him.

“Like people assuming things that aren’t true.”

He planted his hand on his hip. “Are we back to that again? I told you that I don’t care what people think is going on inside my house. They can think whatever they want, that doesn’t mean it’s true.”

I rubbed my forehead in the sunshine and worked to put my feelings into words. “I’m not worried about that anymore. What I meant was, I don’t want people to assume things that puts pressure on you to feel or act a certain way when you don’t want to.”

He stepped closer to me and grabbed the front of my jacket, pulling me to him and kissing me for all he was worth. The kiss was hotter than the one just a few minutes ago, but at the same time, tender, sweet, and loving.

“Did that feel like I was being pressured?” I shook my head while I tried to steady myself after the kiss. “Then stop worrying about it, okay? Now, what do you say we find a tree for our first Christmas together?”

He took my hand and led me into the grove of spruce trees, while my heart grabbed onto his words and held them tightly. Our first Christmas together and hopefully, not our last.

Chapter Nineteen

The lights were low and Michelle’s Bing Crosby Christmas album spun on the old turntable. I was showered and wearing warm pajamas after spending the day at the farm. We had a blast and even though I was covered in frosting head to toe by the time I left, I told Becca I’d help anytime she needed it. It was always fun to see families making memories to last forever. I don’t have those kinds of memories. Maybe that’s why I want others to have them now. Sure, I can make new memories, but I’ll never be a kid again and that’s just the truth.

“That was delicious, Lance,” I said, setting my plate on the coffee table. He’d made stuffed hashbrowns with bacon, sour cream, and cheese with a side of scrambled eggs. It hit the spot after a long day.

He pointed at his plate. “I figured it would warm you up after the day we had. If you want to wait to decorate the tree we can. I’m done at two tomorrow.”

I eyed the tree standing in the corner by the patio doors. We’d picked a smaller tree so it was easier to handle, and Cameron was right, it was easy to tie to the car and bring home. I sensed that Lance was struggling with the idea of decorating it, so I would let him take the lead.

“If that’s what you want, we can wait,” I agreed, taking a sip of the brandy old fashioned he’d made me.

His gaze was on the tree again but he didn’t speak. He just stared at it while he put food in his mouth and chewed. “I don’t really care. We can do whatever you want.” He slid his empty plate onto the coffee table and leaned back, which gave me the opening I needed. I swung myself down onto the floor and knelt in front of him, my hands on his knees.

“Lance, if this is upsetting you, we can take the tree to the garage. It’s not like I have great memories of Christmas that I’m trying to recreate. We never even had a Christmas tree. This is your house and your tree. I’m just along for the ride.”

His gaze finally met mine and he blinked. “You never had a Christmas tree?”

“Nope,” I said on a head shake. “Brenda and Bruce were atheists and while a Christmas tree is the pagan part of the holiday, they wanted nothing to do with any of it. Once I started working at the Hideaway, I got to help decorate the inn and that was so much fun, but I was already a teenager, so it wasn’t like I was five and decorating the tree in my living room. I just, I don’t know, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do this year. I already made you that promise but I’m making it again, okay?”

He didn’t answer, but his gaze drifted from the tree to me several more times before he took my hands and helped me up. “The music is on, the lights are low, and we’re warm and toasty after a fun day at the tree farm. Let’s do it.”

He planted a kiss on my lips and then headed toward the boxes he’d brought up from the basement with renewed vigor.

The lights were strung and the tree was nearly ready for the festive decorations of my childhood. Indie gasped and I looked up from where I was connecting the last set of lights. “What?”

“Look! Garland!” Her face was lit up like the Fourth of July as she held up a ball of silver garland. “But wait, there’s more!” she exclaimed when she dropped that to lift up another bunch of evergreen garland.

I stepped out from behind the tree and walked over to her, glancing down into the bin she was digging through. “I think Mom used to wrap the evergreen garland on the staircase when I was little. She hadn’t done it in years, though. Probably because I used to slide down the railing and twist it all up. The silver garland was always for the tree.”

Indie bent down and picked it up, holding it out to me. “I think we should put it on this year. What’s a Garland Family Christmas tree without garland?”

“Is that what the tree is?” I asked with one brow in the air.

“I’m making it so. Come on.”

She handed me one end of the garland and I wound it around the tree in symmetry opposite the lights until it was hugging the tree with its silver glow. Indie clapped her hands together excitedly near her lips, and stared at the tree with wide eyes. Watching her take so much joy in decorating the tree made me glad that I’d put my sadness aside tonight for her. Her joy in the tree is what I would remember about tonight and nothing else. That was what mattered to me.

I took her hand. “Ready for ornaments?”

“Yes! Where do we start?”

I leaned in and kissed her lips most unexpectedly. I don’t know why, but they were begging to be kissed. She tasted like brandy and I moaned a little when my tongue stroked her velvety lips. “I’m sorry, but I can’t get enough of you,” I whispered when I broke the kiss.

“You don’t have to apologize,” she said, resting her forehead on mine. “I feel the same way when we’re together.”

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